For How Long
by hayboo
Summary: Sometimes the road you're on isn't the road that leads you to where you're supposed to be. Demetri controls Bella. A Cullen will help her make a new life. It can be that easy...right? BxE.
1. Drawn In

Hi!

I hope you like this story.

It's dark and deals with unpleasant things & situations but it wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it.

**kellyprovence** is my beta & she's amazing. i'm really glad she's agreed to do this with me. xo.

**Bbebar** pre-reads for me & she's just all kinds of wonderful. ily.

**Warning**:_ For How Long deals with physical & emotional abuse. If these things offend you or are hard for you to handle then please don't read. It won't be anything too graphic but the abuse is still there._

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Twilight or it's characters. I do own this though.

* * *

**For How Long- Drawn In.**

_-With sheep's clothing all around...it's hard to spot the wolf.-_

I had everything.

A wonderful family. A mom and dad who still loved each other after twenty-seven years of marriage. Two brothers who always protected me from anything bad that wanted to get me. I had a great child hood that was filled with love and smiles and all those things you see in those Hallmark movies. If you wanted to call us cheesy and cliche, go ahead but we were always happy.

I had a great education from the best schools. Attending only private academies. I graduated from Northwestern with a business degree and had more common sense then most, or at least I thought I did. I had amazing friends who had always been able to ground me and keep me from making the wrong decision.

I came from the 'inner circle' as some people called it. I was invited to all the right parties, functions, and gatherings. I always felt as though I was a princess, especially when I was little. I got everything I wanted. All I ever had to do was ask. Hell, sometimes I didn't even need to do that.

I never wanted to be the prettiest, smartest, or most popular. It would have been pointless wanting those things anyway. Sure I was pretty. I never had to try very hard to get a date and I had a steady boyfriend for nearly a year. He told me all the time how pretty I was.

I just never felt that way.

Everything about me was meant to be superficial. My hair was done every two weeks. My nails have always been acrylic. I learned what make up worked for my skin type and tone at age twelve.

I never had a real friend. I had girls I was expected to hang out with and the boyfriend I mentioned was a really good friend who I felt comfortable with; the words, "I love you", were never spoken between us.

Nothing was ever sincere.

I could have definitely been the smartest girl. I loved education. I always did well academically. My parents made sure of that. I had tutors and was taught by only the most professional and experienced teachers. Private schools were expensive, especially with three children, but as my father always said, "You get what you pay for." I was tied with nine other people for the top spot in the my class but at number six, most of the enthusiasm is gone. I'm not saying I need a pat on the back and a party for every good grade I received but some recognition would have been nice. My parents weren't surprised and they just wrote it off as it being expected. From all of their children. I got a soft congratulations and then we moved on.

Being the most popular was a title that no one won. Everyone was popular. If you weren't, you quickly found another school. If you had money so did everyone else. If you threw a great party so did someone else. The scale would balance. There was no title to win there.

My great-grandma Carol always said to be a worthy woman you had to be strong, play fair until someone forced you to fight dirty and never go out without sunblock on. Aging was a girls worst enemy. If you had to age, age gracefully and never let a man tell you can't do something.

I lived by most of those rules.

I was aging quite well. Granted I was only twenty-five and only had late nights of studying to blame for the few lines I told myself were there. I had all my original body parts, nothing was manufactured or purchased. My modest C's and gentle curves were all mine. I could eat just as much as my brothers but made my way to the gym at least three times a week. My skin was lightly tanned, mainly from always vacationing, though I always knew when enough was enough. I didn't own any alligator skin bags and I certainly wasn't looking to have skin that could pass as such.

I had everything.

Except for love. My other half.

Until I was twenty-two.

Demetri Volturi was a professor of mine at Northwestern my junior year. He was a proud man and had confidence in everything he did and said. He wasn't arrogant though, just sure of himself. He never had to ask anything twice. He was so handsome. He was Italian and it suited him well. His dark hair and brown skin. Exotic features. It took me all of a couple weeks to fall madly in love with him.

Of course, him being my professor, voicing these feelings wasn't an option. The last day of classes, before summer term began, he asked me to meet him in his office the following day. I agreed assuming that it had to do with my final. I was certain I did well on it.

When I showed up to Demetri's office, I was surprised and shocked when he abruptly pulled me into a hug. I tensed for just a second before allowing him to hold me.

He then confessed that he'd been wanting to do that since he saw me the first day of classes and he'd been counting down the days before he could formally ask me out without repercussions. I was thrilled. What were the odds of this happening?

June 4.

That was the day I officially started dating Demetri Volturi.

It was also the day I realized that he was very good at hiding things.

I learned that from him.

The first three months went wonderfully. We would spend our days together doing whatever we felt like doing. We toured Chicago, even though I was from the amazing city, and I made sure to show him everything that Chi Town had to offer. We even went on mini vacations to places all over the country. I fell in love with him hard. It was so much more intense than what I thought I had felt for him during the semester. I moved in with him on August 15th. I might as well had signed my life away. At the time I thought it was a grand gesture of love.

Yeah. Right. It was all just a part of his plan.

He made everything that was his...mine as well. Or so it seemed. That's what he wanted me to think and feel. I suppose in a way he wasn't lying but he wasn't being completely truthful either. He never was.

On my twenty-third birthday, Demetri asked me to be his wife. I didn't answer right away because I was in shock. We'd only been together just over three months. Surely that wasn't enough time. When I voiced my concerns, he got angry. He accused me of using him and his money, of which he had plenty, and told me that if I was just going to be a gold digging whore that I could leave now. Only I had no place to go.

I had by passed a dorm and an apartment since I had moved in with D before classes started. It'd take me a few days before I could come up with a place.

I tried to reason with him and let him know that I did love him but I wanted to make sure we were ready.

He shoved me against the wall and held me there, painfully so.

"If I wasn't ready, I wouldn't have asked you. You dumb bitch. Get the fuck out."

I didn't even get to pack a bag.

I tried to access money from my bank account, to at least get a hotel room, but the bank said that my name wasn't on the account anymore. When I asked what she meant, the teller rolled her eyes and stated that the account had been placed in a Demetri Volturi's name and he was the only one that could access the account.

I cried for an hour.

I didn't want to go back to my parents. Over the past three months, I had been awful at keeping plans with them or even calling them. Demetri would always want to go somewhere and he'd promise we'd go "tomorrow, my beautiful Bella." Except we never did. I hadn't seen my parents in nine weeks. I thought about going to Jasper's house. He was the middle child. He lived on the outskirts of the city but I hadn't been any better with him then I had been with my parents. Emmett, my oldest brother, lived in Nashville. He moved there when I was nineteen. He was an engineer. He came home three times a year. I missed him.

I missed everyone.

I walked around for nearly two hours after the bank incident.

When I asked for the time at a cross walk, the woman told me it was nearly six.

I'd been on my own for four and half hours and I had nothing to show for it.

When I knocked on Demetri's door, our door, he answered without a word and walked away without looking at me. He went to the bedroom and shut the door.

I slept on the couch for almost two weeks.

He didn't talk to me. Touch me. Even acknowledge I was there.

Finally, at the beginning of October, he opened the bedroom door and softly called my name. I got up from the couch and walked to where he was.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" He asked blocking, the way into our bedroom.

"I'm sorry Demetri and yes, yes I'll marry you," I answered softly and without looking at him.

"Look at me when you talk to me, Bella. I deserve that much after the way you treated me."

"Yes, of course," I said, looking at him now.

He stepped to the side and allowed me entry.

"Now, make up for the two weeks you've not been with me. On your knees," he commanded making a motion with his hand in the direction he wanted me to go.

That night I did what he told me to. He took me any way he wanted to.

That night I became his.

He owned me.

I was Mrs. Demetri Volturi.

* * *

Alright, so not much to go on. I know...but I have the next two chapters already written and ready to post.

Chapter two will go up tomorrow (august 21) or Sunday (august 22).

I've learned a lot with AtH so I'm going to try and stay ahead of the game with For How Long.=)

Please let me know what you think. It's a short introduction but I hope you got a feel for the character.

Twitter me: _hayboo05_

-rach.


	2. Charity

Ok, so I decided to post early. Hope that's ok.

**kellyprovence** - beta!

**Bbebar** - pre-reader & twifey!

**Warning**: _For How Long deals with physical & emotional abuse. If these things offend you ro are hard for you to handle then please don't read. It won't be too graphic but the abuse will be there._

**Disclaimer**: SM own Twilight. I own FHL.

* * *

**For How Long-Charity**

**-**To accept help would mean the endurance of more hurt-

"Oh no, that will never work Bella."

I sighed. My mom and I had been furniture shopping for nearly two hours and I was over it. I mean how many different types of side tables were we going to look at!

"Mother, I told you I liked the one we saw an hour ago."

Mom just shook her head and moved on to sofas.

Renee Dwyer was the perfect picture of Chicago high society. Just like myself and my brothers, she always had the best of everything. Her father was in politics and all that implies. Grandpa Charlie passed just over five years ago and we all missed him very much. We, meaning the entire city of Chicago. He was one of those rare but priceless politicians that actually worked for the people.

Mom had also graduated from Northwestern and married my father, Phillip, right out of college. They were pregnant with Emmett the night of their honeymoon, Jasper came less than two years later, and I was the baby. My dad was an investment broker. He was amazing at his job. He was sought after by many and recommended highly by all that worked with him. We came from money but we tried to never abuse that. We didn't want to take for granted what we had, ever.

Mom wasn't just a trophy wife though. She had her business degree as well. She ran her own event planning business and it fit her personality well. She was the planner of Chicago. Anyone who wanted to have a party and get noticed for it, asked my mother to do the job.

I wanted a life just like the one my parents had but I wasn't holding my breath.

After Demetri and I got engaged, he was a completely different person -on the outside anyway- and became all about reconnecting with family. I didn't argue because I missed mine so much. Mom and Dad welcomed me as if I'd done nothing wrong and we rarely spoke of it at all.

They were both so excited when I told them about my upcoming marriage. Dad shook Demetri's hand and kissed me on the cheek. Mom said that I had myself I good man and to not let him get away. I was pleased that they accepted it. Mom wasn't always the biggest fan of my relationship with D. He was eight years older than me and Mom always had an issue with that. She seemed to forget all about that though when I showed her my engagement ring. We were married on January 22.

"What colors were you thinking for the living room, dear?"

Mom's question brought me back to the fact that we were still looking at furniture.

"I was thinking earth tones," I replied, already knowing she was going to approve. Her living room was done in earth tones.

Demetri and I had just purchased a new apartment in the heart of the city. It was closer to the university where Demetri was still teaching and I could walk to get just about anything within a few minutes. It was win-win.

The apartment it's self had three bedrooms, which to me was two too many, but Demetri wanted to start a family soon. I did not.

Don't get me wrong, I loved children and I definitely wanted one or two, but to bring them into a relationship like the one that my husband and I had-wel,l I just couldn't. I had Mirena as far as birth control goes and D was none the wiser. He'd kill me, probably literally, if he realized I was ruining his chances of having a family on purpose.

I had come to terms a long time ago that I would probably never have children.

"I think that will look lovely. Is the time table still confirmed, for the remodel, I mean?"

Mom's question startled me due to my wandering mind.

I picked up a pillow that I loved and held it up. "Umm, yes. I think so. The contractor was by to see Demetri last night and as far as I know everything is still running on time."

Mother nodded, "That's good. You want to be all moved in before winter gets here."

It was September. I turned twenty-five last week.

"I agree. We should be in by Halloween."

"Oh Bella, that reminds me, we have a hospital gala next weekend. You and Demetri will need to come. Jasper is coming as well."

I rolled my eyes. I hated these types of things. I didn't always, but now I hated putting on this fake persona. I hated acting happy all the time.

"I'll mention it to D and make sure he can go," I replied, adding another lamp to the already large amount of items that were to be shipped to the new apartment in the next couple weeks.

"Well, if he can't go that doesn't mean you can't go. You can be your brother's date."

I only nodded. I knew better. I wouldn't be going without my husband.

After finishing up the extended shopping trip with my mom, I head back home. Demetri would be there in less than an hour and I still had to make dinner and take a shower. Damn my mom for wanting to go clear across town!

The rules were very simple.

I was to have breakfast made when he woke up at six in the morning. His briefcase and jacket were to be ready for him as he walked out the door. I had the day to do what I wanted and I had an allowance as to how much money I could spend. Dinner was to made every night by seven. I was to be showered and ready to talk about our days by then also. I couldn't go to bed unless he said I could, and I never made plans after eight. On any night. With anyone. Unless Demetri was the escort.

I didn't like rules. I rebelled against them numerous times in the beginning but that only led to punishments. They started out small-a smack here or shove there. Then they escalated the longer we were together. I'd never broken a bone until I met Demetri. Now I was up to four. He never touched my face. He said that it was my one true beauty. I knew it was because it would be harder for me to cover up the bruises.

I tried to do as was expected of me. Not because I was weak but because I was strong. Strong enough to know that no amount of small victory I gained by breaking the rules was worth the sting of his hand.

Why didn't I just leave?

Sounds simple enough but it's anything but. He controls all my money. He owns everything I have. He owns me.

I thought about telling my parents but Demetri said they'd never believe me or that they'd blame me because it was my fault after all. If I would just behave and act like a wife should act then there wouldn't be a problem.

I had dinner set on the table just as his keys entered the lock.

"Good evening my beautiful Bella," Demetri called out.

I walked so that I was closer to the living room before answering, "Good evening husband of mine. How was your day?"

He kissed my cheek when he reached me and then stepped around me to enter the kitchen.

"Fine. Gave a pop quiz and that went over so well."

I gave him a smile. He liked seeing people squirm.

"Anyone pass it?" I asked, as I poured him a glass of wine to go with the chicken parmesian I prepared for us.

He laughed lightly, "One student...out of fifty-two."

I joined him at the table and we bowed our heads.

Demetri insisted we say Grace every night before dinner. I didn't have a problem with it, but it's the only religious thing Demetri ever did. He wouldn't even go to church on Christmas Eve.

"How did the furniture shopping go with Renee?"

I paused with my fork half way to my mouth and answered, "Great, I found a lot of really nice things and Mom said that interior designer friend of hers would be contacting me next week if I hadn't called her up by then."

He nodded and took a drink of his wine.

"I want to see her ideas as well, you know, before we hire her."

"Of course, D."

"What's her name again?" he asked wiping his mouth with his napkin.

"Esme Cullen. She comes highly recommended and Mother says she does amazing work."

"Well I think you should get a hold of her before she has to contact you. It would be rude for her to have to come to you."

"Yes," I start, "You're right. I'll call her first thing in the morning."

Dinner continued on with small talk about things that need to be finished regarding the apartment. The majority of the work was put aside for me to take care of. Demetri said that since it was my idea to purchase a new apartment that it should be something I took care of. He also said that since I did nothing else of any importance it wouldn't hurt for me to use my free time wisely.

Bedtime was also on a strict schedule. D was always in bed by ten. I also had to be in the bedroom by then, though I could do other things. I just had to be quiet...which eliminated a lot of options. I usually just went to bed right a long with D.

For a married couple, sex was something that we did not have often. A couple times a week, maybe, and then it was boring and plain vanilla sex. Not that there's anything wrong with that every now and again but I am a twenty-five year old woman. I needed variety and passion. I wanted dirty words and soft caresses. What I got was robotic. I was sure that if Demetri didn't feel shameful of getting himself off more than a couple times a week, we wouldn't have sex at all.

That's all it was. Sex. We hadn't made love since we got engaged. To make love you - you had to be in love. I loved Demetri but I wasn't in love with him. I never will be.

I wanted to be in love with someone. I wanted them to be in love me. I didn't wanted to be controlled or hit. I wanted to be his equal.

I suppose I should have visited these thoughts before I married D. Divorce was not an option. He made that very clear. Also, my parents would probably die on site if I ever told them I wanted to divorce. They expected everyone to be able to sustain a twenty-seven year old marriage. _Right._

My day was a lot of the same thing. A cycle. A schedule. I tried not to get down about it but really, who wouldn't? I wanted to live life and laugh without worrying about the next time I might be able to.

I wanted to save myself. My only problem was I needed help doing that and I had no idea who to ask.

xx-xx

"Cullen Creations, this is Jessica, how may I help you?"

"Yes, hello, this is Bella Volturi and I was hoping to speak with or make an appointment to see Esme about decorating an apartment I recently purchased."

I called at 9:20AM. The office opened at 9.

"Sure Mrs. Volturi, your mother mentioned something about you calling yesterday when she had lunch with Esme. Let me see what she has available for a consult. Hold please?"

I nodded feeling dumb since she obviously wasn't going to see the gesture. "Yes, that's fine. Thank you."

I was on hold for nearly two minutes.

"Mrs. Volturi? Esme can see you next week. Tuesday at 10:00AM?" Jessica asked in a chipper voice.

I checked my date book that was out in front of me and saw that I didn't have anything until after two that day.

"Yes, that works fine for me. Do I need to bring anything?"

"No ma'am. Any ideas you might be leaning toward would be welcomed though. Written down, so that Esme has something to go on but that's not required for a consult."

I hung up with Jessica after confirming the date and time of the appointment next week.

The rest of my day was pretty open. I was secretly hoping that Esme would have been able to squeeze me in today, though now that I think about it, I see how foolish a thought that was.

I tidied up the already immaculate living space and decided to dress for a day of nothing.

I chose a pair of dark skinny jeans with a lavender sleeveless top-since the weather was still nice. I might have been closed off from a lot of the world but fashion was something I refused to part with. Thankfully Demetri liked me to look nice. He said it reflected back on him.

I braided my hair and let it hang over my shoulder. Applied some mascara, and a bit of bronzer, slipped on my ankle boots and that was it, I was done with everything I needed to do.

I had just started looking at a home decor magazine when my cell phone beeped.

It was a voicemail from my mother.

"Bella, join me for lunch in forty-five minutes. Cafe Italia. See you soon. Love you."

I sighed but decided that it was a better option than sitting here for the entire day staring at four walls.

xx-xx

"Are you available tomorrow?" Mom asked, before taking a sip of her coffee. Two sugars.

Tomorrow was Friday. Demetri had classes until six tomorrow evening.

"Yes, for what and at what time?"

"This lunch thing at the NMH. It's a fundraiser and your father had mentioned that it would be nice to introduce you to some of the life savers that worked in Chicago."

The irony was not lost on me with that statement.

Dad had always been a supporter of medical facilities here in Chicago. His mom had developed cancer when she was just thirty-one. He was pleased with the amount of wonderful care they gave her. She died six years later but not for the lack of quality healthcare. His favorite hospital was Northwestern Memorial Hospital. Our entire family was Northwestern Alum. You figure it out.

"Sure. Semi-casual?" I asked, squeezing the lemon into the my water.

Mom nodded.

"I'll be there."

"We'll have the car pick you up and you'll meet us in the lobby at one."

This time I nodded.

"Esme Cullen will be there, did I mention that? Her husband and son both work at the hospital." Mom was excited about his particular piece of information.

"Really? Lucky woman. Doctors all around."

"Carlisle is her husband and a brilliant cardiologist. Edward is her son, he's in emergency room medicine. She also had two daughters. Alice who is just a year older than you, she's a nurse at NMH and Rosalie who, I believe just turned twenty-eight. She runs the Cullen Foundation."

Carlisle struck a memory chord. Out of all those names only his would stay with me.

"Carlisle does the free clinic on the weekends right?" I regretted the words as soon as they were out of my mouth.

"Yes," Mom started hesitantly, "How do you know that?"

I had to pay that free clinic a visit a few times. Of course I always left money because I didn't want to take advantage of the supplies, just the anonymity it brought with it. No one asked questions of the girl with bruises on her face or the broken hand she held close to her chest. They never wondered who could have done it to her. They asked if they could help find a place for the girl to stay while the police take care of him. The girl may or may not have tried that a few times and everytime he found her and it was always worse than the last time.

No, help wasn't an option when it came to the police and safe houses. The name was deceiving.

"I..umm..I saw a paper on a cork board while working through campus the other day. Carlisle is a unique name...I guess it just stuck."

Mom looked doubtful at my explanation but didn't seem to eager to press the issue.

I was glad. I was never very good at lying. That, or my mom was just incredibly in tune with me. Either was a good possibility.

"Well anyway, be ready on time please. Being late is rude and you're father doesn't want anything to overshadow the event."

Again, I nodded and took a sip of my water.

xx-xx

_The door opened and I almost gasped at the handsome doctor. Was he even old enough to be out of medical school? _

_"Hello, Isabella. I'm Doctor Cullen."_

_He extended his hand but stopped short when he saw that my right hand was held closely to my chest._

_"What happened there?"_

_I looked down and answered him, "I fell and landed right on it. I am the clumsiest girl in the world." I thought about laughing but I knew that wouldn't be anymore convincing then what I was being now._

_"Hmm...can I see it?" _

_He gingerly took my arm and I let out a quiet yelp of pain. It was probably just sprained. It felt just like the last time._

_"It's not broken so that's a good thing," Doctor Cullen stated as he gently pushed around on my wrist._

_I forced a small smile. I hated this feeling. Not my wrist, though that did hurt I hated the shame I felt when the doctor tried to make it out to be a simple injury. It was so much more than that. It was me being stupid and not standing up for myself. Or maybe it was me standing up for myself too much...since that's why Demetri grabbed me in the first place. _

_"Well, Isabella, I think it's just a sprain. I'll wrap it for you and give you something for the pain. Just for a couple days and then you'll just need to take Aleve or Advil per the directions on the bottle. Okay?"_

_"Yes, thank you Doctor Cullen."_

_He smiled at me and hesitated. He wanted me to ask for help but I had tried that already and it ended up with me bruised so badly I couldn't leave the house for nearly a week. The wrist wasn't worth what else D would do to me. _

_So I just forced another smile and made my way off the too high table and off the noisy as hell paper. _

_"Listen Isabella, I want to let you know that we can help you."_

_I thought about not answering at all but that would be rude._

_"No, I'm afraid you can't Doctor Cullen," I finished after putting on what I hope was decent smile, "Clumsiness isn't cured."_

_He sighed and gave me a sad smile. He knew what I was doing but without proof he couldn't go against my wishes. Wishes...what were those and why did I ever believe they came true?_

_"Alright well I'll have the nurse come in and wrap that wrist and the prescription for the pain medicine will be at the desk."_

_I nodded and then he was gone. _

_I had to fight the tears as the nurse wrapped my wrist and led me out to collect my prescription. _

_I fought the tears as I made my way to the pharmacy to fill the prescription._

_When I got home, I locked myself in the bathroom._

_I stopped fighting the tears._

That was the first time I met Dr. Carlisle Cullen. Not the last of course. I've seen him almost a dozen times in the six months he's been over the clinic.

What the hell was I going to do tomorrow?

* * *

Alright, so now ya have something to read! lol.

Tell me what ya think? Please!

Next chapter will be posted a week from today-Aug 27.

There is a polyvore of Bella's outfit from this chapter. It's on my profile & i'll tweet it...which reminds me..

Twitter me:_ hayboo05_

-rach_ (feel free to call me that! -beejelly_ ..that was for you! ;)  
_

Thanks for reading!


	3. Meet and Greet

Hello! So thank you to those of you who've reviewed and/or put this story on alert! Means a lot. So thank you!

**kellyprovence **is my amazing beta.

**Bbebar **is so many things to me but regarding this story she is my pre-reader. muah!

Thanks so much to all the wonderful ladies over on Twitter. You girls seriously make my day so much better!

**Warning**:_ For How Long deals with physical & emotional abuse. If these things offend you or are hard for you to handle then please don't read. It won't be anything too graphic but the abuse is still there._

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Twilight or any of it's characters.

* * *

**For How Long-Meet and Greet**

_-It's known what's at the end of the rainbow...no one pays attention to what's at the beginning-_**  
**

"You look tired Bella. Did you not sleep well?" Demetri asked after taking a bite of his toast.

I poured myself a cup of coffee.

"I just couldn't get comfortable. I'm not sure why."

That was a lie. I knew exactly why I hadn't slept but a couple hours last night.

I wasn't sure how to deal with seeing Doctor Cullen outside of the free clinic.

His name had echoed in my head since my mom had first mentioned him. My name wouldn't mean anything to him though. My name here was Bella Volturi but at the free clinic where I was just another battered wife who used lame excuses to explain away their injuries, I was Isabella Swan. I wanted to be a beautiful swan. I wanted to fly away from everything. Land somewhere safe.

"Well, I guess it's a good thing we're getting a new mattress for the apartment when we move. Maybe that will help you."

I nodded. A new mattress would do nothing in the short term to relieve my insomnia.

"What are your plans today?" Demetri asked, standing up from the table and moving toward the living room.

Standing up, I followed him, I answered, "I have a luncheon at NMH with my parents and Jasper. That's at one. Then home after I'm sure."

Demetri said nothing but looked at me for a few minutes as if trying to figure something out.

"Have your father call me when you get there, I have a matter I need to discuss with him."

He wanted to make sure I wasn't lying about where I was going to be.

"Of course."

He kissed my cheek and walked out. Wishing me a good day.

_Not likely._

I hated not knowing how Carlisle would react to seeing me...dressed to impress and sporting a different name.

I hoped that if he was going to call me out that he'd at least wait until we were alone to do so.

I didn't know what I was going to say to him if he did wish to speak about it though. Telling him the truth would entail what exactly? Besides, he already knew the truth.

Surely he wouldn't talk to my parents. A persons private life is just that. Plus, he was my doctor technically. He couldn't say anything to them using my name. But why would he use my name? He'd use Isabella.

By ten, I was trying to come up with a reason to skip out of the fundraiser altogether. I could say I was sick but then mom would insist that I come and be seen. The event was at the hospital after all.

Maybe I could get stuck in traffic. -_Oh right Bella for three hours?_

I wished I had a job so I could feign a work emergency but Demetri did not want me to work. He said it was because we didn't need the extra income. I knew it was because he didn't want me getting to close to someone and telling them anything. Also, you had to be at work everyday. Bruises be damned.

_Bruises be damned._

By noon, I had relented to the fact that I would have to just deal with the consequences of seeing Doctor Cullen. I would have to think on my feet and if possible avoid being around him for any extended amount of time.

At twelve-thirty I went to go check my outfit out in the mirror. My burgundy chiffon dress was casual enough for the luncheon but formal enough to be a NMH fundraiser. I slipped on my black closed toe pumps and slipped a pair of my diamond earrings in. I was ready. I looked like a regular high society member. A far cry from Isabella Swan.

When the door man called up to tell me the car was waiting, I nearly told him to tell them I wasn't coming. This was absurd of course. Mother would have some kind of fit.

I grabbed my clutch and took a deep breath before exiting the apartment and making my way to the car.

xx-xx

My parents and my brother, Jasper, were waiting for me in the lobby when I arrived at NMH.

Dad looked professional in his black Armani suit. He had on his glasses today instead of wearing his contacts. I always thought he looked so handsome in his glasses. He made his way to me and kissed my cheek.

"You look beautiful Bella."

I smiled at him and went to hug my mother. She looked wonderful, of course. The ivory pencil skirt and plum button up shirt looked very put together and I adored her shoes.

"Ahh so you went back for the Kenneth Coles, huh?" I asked with a smile.

"Shh, you're father will demand an explanation. You look lovely, by the way."

"Thanks Mom." _Lovely._

"Hey sis," Jasper said in greeting. He was wearing black dress pants with a pale green button up. He was also sporting his glasses.

"Hello big brother. I've missed you."

"I've been busy as of late," he offered while giving me a firm hug.

"What's her name?"

A smile was my answer.

"Well, come on kids, let's go mingle and raise money," Mom said, gesturing toward the sliding glass door that led to the banquet hall.

"Oh, dad, can you call D really quickly? He had something he wanted to discuss with you."

He nodded and pulled out his phone. Mom, Jasper and myself went ahead in.

Up until this point I had almost forgotten about Doctor Cullen. That is until I saw the programs for the event. His name was on the second page in bold letters. Apparently, he was being honored next weekend at the hospital gala.

I tried to slow down the pace but Mom was insistent and claimed we were already a few minutes late.

No way out.

We entered the banquet hall and I was hit with seventy-five different voices all at once.

"Geez Mother, how many people are attending this thing?" Jasper asked in a hushed voice.

"One-hundred people RSVP'd, so hopefully one-hundred people," she answered in the same tone.

"Well, go mingle kids. Your mother and I are going to go talk to the chief of staff," Dad said from behind me.

And with that I was on my own. Save for my brother but I could already tell he was over it.

"Do you think they'd-"

"Yes Jazz, they'd notice if you left. Just...ya know...mingle," I said in a fake mom way.

"Let's mingle together shall we?"

I was fine with being on the arm of my brother for the afternoon. Most people here knew that we were siblings so we rarely had to explain that. The last thing I needed was for word to get around to Demetri that I was on the arm of a handsome young man.

Jasper and I made the rounds. Talked to doctors from nearly every field in just thirty minutes. We were quick minglers...what can we say?

We had just started talking to cheif neurologist when I saw him. That perfect blonde hair and those beautiful blue eyes. I didn't realize I was staring until he met my gaze. I quickly looked away but not before seeing the curiousity in his eyes.

I tugged on Jaspers sleeve and excused myself to the ladies room.

I was hoping that taking myself out of the picture would redirect Doctor Cullen's attention.

I was almost to the hallway where the restrooms were located with Mrs. Trenton waved me over. I thought about pretending that I didn't see her but with hot pink gloves on her hands I had doubts that excuse would hold.

"Bella! I didn't know you'd be here! Look how lovely you are."

I gave a small smile. _Sure, yeah, lovely._

"Hello Mrs. Trenton, how have you been?"

Patricia Trenton was a forty something widow who used her millions to fund cancer research and travel the world. Honestly, she was in Chicago perhaps three months out of the year and never consecutively. She always said her house was entirely too big for her now that her Henry had passed. She hated being lonely.

"Oh, I've been wonderful dear. Just got in last night. I've been in Japan for the last month. Sweetie, it's beautiful there! You should get that husband of yours to take you soon!"

I couldn't help but laugh. Mrs. Trenton was so animated when she talked about things she was excited about and new places that warranted visiting was definitely something that excited her.

"I've heard that Japan and China were two of the most beautiful places on Earth," I replied. I loved watching the Travel Channel; I always wanted to go far far away.

"They are, I assure you."

I stopped breathing.

"Doctor Carlisle Cullen! I was hoping I'd run into you."

_Funny...I had been hoping the exact opposite._

I didn't want to turn around because then he'd really see me. Know me.

It would be rude not to turn around though and I was already getting a concerned look from Mrs. Trenton.

_Just breathe Bella._

"How are you Patricia?" Doctor Cullen asked, still standing slightly behind me.

I took a deep breathe, counted to three and turned so that it looked as if I actually wanted to engage in a conversation with Doctor Cullen.

I knew the exact moment he put the pieces together.

His eye widened. _No, it can't be her._

He visibly swallowed. _Could it?_

Deep sigh. _Yes, it most definitely is._

Mrs. Trenton's voice broke the spell we were in.

"I'm just fine, thank you for asking Carlisle. How are Esme and the kids?" she asked, taking a mimosa off the waiter's tray.

It took him a few seconds to answer.

"They're just fine, thank you. They're all here actually so you must seek them out. Esme was just asking about you last week."

His eyes kept shifting to me. I had to get away from him but before I could take a step, Mrs. Trenton started the introductions. _This should be good._

"Oh how rude of me, Doctor Cullen, this is a family friend. Her father is Phillip Dwyer a generous contributor to the hospital. I believe her mother is good friend's with Esme. This is Bella Volturi."

I forced a small smile and offered my hand.

"I've heard nothing but great things about you Doctor Cullen, it's a pleasure to meet you."

He looked at my hand. It's the one that had two broken fingers the last time I saw him. He was remembering. I could see that he was.

He cleared his throat before taking my outstretched hand. "Hello Bella. The pleasure is all mine."

There was an awkward silence. He wanted to say something. I didn't want him to say anything. Mrs. Trenton probably wanted another mimosa.

"Umm, yes well, Carlisle if you have a minute I would like to speak with you about the upcoming board meeting; big decisions to make."

Again Mrs. Trenton saved the day and while I excused myself to the restroom..again..Doctor Cullen couldn't stop asking a question with his eyes.

_Will you explain this to me?_

I quickly gave my answer with sad smile and small wave.

_I can't._

xx-xx

I had successfully made it through two hours of mingling and idle chatter without seeing Doctor Cullen again. I only had an hour left and I was sure that it would be a piece of cake. What reason would he have to seek me out? Other than the obvious of course. Esme had come over to where my mom and I had been sitting and joined us for a cocktail. We had briefly discussed our meeting that was to take place in a few days and I was excited to get things moving on that front. I also met Alice and Rosalie.

The Cullen sisters.

Alice was, to say the least, all about enjoying life. She wanted to help as many people as she could. She worked on the Peds floor here at the hospital and quite frankly she was perfect for the job. She had that personality that kids flocked too. Hell, I flocked to it. She was also kind of surprising. She wanted to have lunch Sunday. I told her I'd see what I had planned. All the while knowing it wouldn't be possible. The weekends were strictly for Demetri.

Rosalie was different but the same. She had an energy about her that was just as contagious as Alice's. She was a bit more subdued though. She was beautiful but didn't seem as though she rubbed that in or used it more than she had too. She ran The Cullen Foundation which was known all over the country for supporting cancer research. They focused mainly on childrens charities and funded five "Make-a-Wish" stories every year. The Cullen's were modern day saints. Her business sense was obvious upon meeting her and she was serious when it came to her work.

I was actually having a good time talking to the Cullen woman and my mother. Until Esme brought up the new workshop that some of the doctors and nurses were going to be running.

"The Above Abuse program is really getting off the ground finally and Carlise is going to be at the head of it. I'm so proud of him and it means so much to have been a part of this." Esme explained further that she had been a victim of domestic abuse before she met Doctor Cullen.

I couldn't wrap my head around it. How did she leave? What finally made that tight rope snap?

"Well," Renee started, "I think it's a great idea. So many women suffer in silence and the fact that they can call or come in anonymously is great. I think it will help bring women in, that under different circumstances, wouldn't come."

Every head nodded but mine. If someone noticed, they made no mention of it. I had to leave this table. It was entirely too close to home.

It was a great idea and I'm glad that it was being brought to life. I couldn't be anonymous here. My father knew every doctor that worked at NMH and they almost all knew me. It would be a great help to some women. Just not to me.

_There is no help for you, Bella._

"I'm going to check my messages and see if D has called yet. Excuse me please."

They all smiled.

I made my way out into the lobby and checked my messages. I had one from D asking how the fundraiser was going and to call him when I left.

Thirty-two minutes.

That's how long it would take for me to get back home with four o'clock traffic. He would talk to me until I told him I was home. Then he'd call me again in three minutes and I would just be unlocking the door.

I text him. **It's going great. Lots of money for the hospital. Talk to you soon.**

Demetri hated texting but I didn't want to talk to him right now. He would sense something was off and demand I leave.

I leaned up against the wall and slid down it. Not caring how unladylike like this was.

I crossed my legs at the ankles and closed my eyes.

I sat like that for a few minutes. I didn't want to go back in but my mother would send a search party soon.

"You look how I feel."

My eyes shot open and I looked up to see God.

No. Not God. He was handsome enough to be a God though. In three words: Tall, sex-hair, and green. _Sex-hair counts...it's hyphenated!_

I realized I was just sitting there looking at this man without even acknowledging I'd heard him. He started to fidget.

I cleared my throat, "Uh..you really feel this good?"

He smirked.

"That I do."

I started to stand up and he grabbed my arm to help me. I tensed. He let go.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to overstep..." he trailed off, shoving his hands in his pockets.

I shook my head.

"No, it's fine," I assured him tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.

"I'm Edward Cullen."

I took his extended hand and shook it gently.

Such soft hands. I bet they don't hurt anyone. Of course they don't he's Edward Cullen.

"Oh...Oh! Edward Cullen, as in Esme and Carlisle's son."

"Yes, that's me. I'm not as wonderful as they wish people to believe."

Again, he smirked and I decided I liked this Cullen. He's nice.

"I'm sure you're just as wonderful as they say you are Doctor Cullen." I blushed. That was a simple and polite comment right?

Edward looked amused.

"The fair maiden blushes. Might I know her name?" he asked softly.

"I'm so sorry, I'm Bella Volturi. It's nice to meet you."

"Ahh yes, Phil's daughter. He speaks highly of you."

I shook my head but gave a small smile. "I'm not sure why. I'm hardly a doctor or even a nurse for that matter."

"Hm, well sometimes, Bella Volturi... it's about what you _are_."

"What am I?" I whispered. I didn't even realize I asked the question until he answered it.

"I'm not sure just yet," he answered just as quietly.

His gaze was intense. So much so I had to look away.

"I should get back in. My mother has probably already contacted authorities," I joked while taking a couple steps toward the banquet hall.

"Yes, I should probably make an appearance. Shall we go into the lion's den together?" he asked, offering his arm.

I wanted to take it. Someone would see and it would get around to Demetri. I couldn't take it.

Instead I decided to joke again. "I have faced worse than lions, Doctor Cullen." Okay, so I _sort of _joked.

Edward didn't say anything but he shook his head and gave a small laughed.

Just inside the banquet hall I said goodbye.

"It was nice to meet you Doctor Cullen."

He stopped and turned to face me.

"It was a pleasure meeting you as well, Bella. Please call me Edward and I hope to see you again soon..." the last part came out sounding almost like a question.

I didn't answer him. I smiled and turned away.

I re-joined my mom at the table and she explained that the Cullen's were preparing to leave. I quickly scanned the room and caught sight of the most beautiful family.

Esme was talking with Alice and Mrs. Trenton. Rosalie was laughing at something Edward had said and Carlisle was looking at me.

_Wait, what?_

I looked back toward my mother and offered to freshen her drink.

"Get me something too, sis."

"Nice to see you again, Jasper. Where have you been?" I asked when he took a seat.

"Around."

"You're such a horn dog."

He laughed. Mother gasped.

I quickly left the table and walked toward the bar to order us all a club soda.

"I just wanted to say good-bye, Bella."

I looked and Doctor Cullen was standing next to me with his hands in his pockets. _Must be a Cullen thing_.

"It was so nice meeting you. You have a beautiful family," I answered, looking toward said family.

He nodded. Then in a quiet voice offered, "You can talk to me, Bella."

I had to stop this before it went too far. It was already too far. He was never supposed to know the truth!

"I know that. I talk almost too much at times. You'll regret giving me the invitation."

He understood what I was doing. I could see it in his eyes.

"I have a feeling that listening to you talk, and I mean really talk would hardly be something I would regret. Have a wonderful weekend."

He walked away then. Made his way to his perfect family and just as I gathered the drinks I'd ordered and turned toward our table, I saw a wave.

It was from the other Doctor Cullen.

I smiled at him since my hands were full.

Alice had turned to see who her brother was waving at and after spotting me she smiled as well.

Her smile was different though. Her smile made me nervous.

* * *

So...tell me what ya think!

Chapter four is already written and ready to edit...so the update will be next week sometime.

I have to rec this fic...because it's amazing. I just started it two days ago and I love it already. **Dead On My Feet** by Cesca Marie. It's really soooo good. The humor is amazing and I love the interaction between Bella & Edward. Anyway...go check it out!

Oh, Bella & Esme's outfits (polyvore) will be up on my profile...if ya wanna see. Go there.

I'm out. Let me know what ya thought!

-rach.


	4. A Glimpse

hello!

Thanks so much for the reviews & alerts! Means a lot. If I haven't replied to your review yet, I'm gettin there! RL has been really busy as of late.

**_kellyprovence_**: my amazing beta!

**_Bbebar_**: pre-reader & my love.

(please see a/n at the bottom for some **exciting news**!)

_**Warning**__: For How Long deals with physical & emotional abuse. If these things offend you or are hard for you to handle then please don't read. It won't be anything too graphic but the abuse is still there._

_**Disclaimer**: SM owns Twilight & it's characters. I won this story.  
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* * *

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**For How Long- A Glimpse**

_-The glass always looks cleaner from the outside-_

All weekend I thought about two things. Well...people.

Carlisle and Edward Cullen.

Granted the reasons for their occupation in my mind were extremely different.

When it came to Carlisle, it was about what he didn't do. He didn't make a scene or even speak inappropriately to me. He kept it all very polite and although I knew what he meant when he said I could talk to him, it wouldn't seem out of sorts to anyone else. I'd be lying if I said that the offer didn't make me anxious. I _wanted_ to talk to him...to anyone. Sometimes I wondered if it could really be that easy. Then I remember that if it was, I would have been free of Demetri a long time ago.

Carlisle was kind and gentle. He also asked a lot of questions with his eyes. I knew what questions they were. I asked myself the same ones every time Demetri hit me.

They all started with one word: Why.

The questions did no good without answers though. The answers are what I'm lacking.

I needed to decide what I was going to do about finding another clinic to go to. Ideally I would never have to go back but realistically I knew it was just a matter of time.

When it came to Edward, it was what he did do to me.

Edward wouldn't leave me alone.

Our encounter had been brief and we had merely joked about our duties as children of important people.

I kept playing his voice in my head though and his eyes wouldn't stop showing up when I would close mine.

Maybe it was just this physical attraction I had to him. It couldn't be much more than that. There was nothing else it could be.

There...it was settled.

Knowing why didn't erase the thinking altogether though.

Demetri knew I was distracted all weekend. He got very angry about the fact that I wouldn't tell him what was wrong.

I had a bruise on my left shoulder blade to prove it. I'll have to remind myself to fall below the doorknob and not on it.

In my defense, nothing _was_ wrong. I had no problem just two men on my mind. _Yes, I'm aware of how that sounds. _

When I still wouldn't tell him after he shoved and belittled, he went to his next favorite tactic.

Accusation.

He accused me of cheating on a regular basis. The absurdity had to be as obvious to him as it was to me. I had to tell him everything I was doing and how long I would be doing it. I had no plan without his approval.

He was cheating.

Cliche Lifetime movies come to mind. Perfume and lipstick on his clothes that weren't mine. Whispered conversations in the bathroom right before bed. Him accusing me constantly.

I wonder if he hit her too. I hope not. Yes, she was a home wrecker in the traditional sense of the word but no one could ruin what was already destroyed.

Frankly, I wish he'd leave me. The complications of a divorce couldn't possibly be worse than what I was dealing with now.

Sunday morning, Demetri refused to let me have breakfast with my mom. He said if I could keep something from him then he could keep me from something.

He called Mom and explained to her that I wasn't feeling well but as soon as I felt up to it, I'd call and reschedule.

I was in the shower when that conversation took place. I didn't even know she had invited me until he told me he had told her no.

I came away with that argument with a bruise just below my ribs. Those hurt the worst because sitting irritated them. I had to tell him something otherwise I'd be black and blue all over.

I wasn't sure how I was going to appease him though. I couldn't tell him the truth. That would do more harm than good.

I decided to try my hand at fibbing. I usually wasn't very good at it but what I was going to tell D wasn't technically a lie. It just wasn't the whole truth.

Sunday evening, during dinner, I spoke to D about what was bothering me.

"I'm not sure if I want to stay at home all the time anymore."

Demetri finished chewing his garlic bread before he questioned me.

"Why is that? Is that what's been on your mind?"

I started nodding before he had finished his question. _He might just buy it._

"Yes. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner but I didn't want to upset you. I want to feel like I contribute to the household Demetri. I hate just sitting around all day."

I made sure to look him in the eye the whole time I spoke.

"Bella, we've been over this. We don't need the additional income. We live comfortably and I like coming home to a hot meal, clean house, and a woman who is loyal. No job."

He went back to his dinner. I had been dismissed so to speak. _Point for Bella._

As if an after thought, "Oh and if you ever keep something from me again, no matter how trivial, it will again be your fault if something or someone gets hurt. Understand?" His eyes never left his plate.

I nodded anyway. It was always my fault.

xx-xx

Monday morning came and went without incident. Demetri had apparently bought the whole 'I want a job' story because he seemed to lay off of me after our discussion. I was grateful. Some reprieve was nice.

My shoulder was sore today. More so than yesterday which struck me as odd but Demetri had controlled himself quite well the last two weeks, not inflicting any abuse at all, so I guess it was to expected to be extra sore.

My ribs were killing me. I tried to lay down as much as possible. The bruise hurt less that way.

Sometimes Demetri would go a couple weeks without inflicting any kind of physical abuse and then I'd recieve it every day for the next few days. It never made sense to me but the pattern or the lack there of didn't matter really. He still hit me.

Around 11:30, my cell phone rang and when I looked at the display, I didn't recognize the number. I always answered my phone though. Demetri would sometimes use random pay phones to see if I was doing something I shouldn't be. I always answered.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this Bella?" The voice-familiar but not family.

"Yes, who's speaking please?"

"Hey Bella, it's Rosalie Cullen. We met Friday."

I smiled. "Of course, how are you Rosalie?"

"I'm fine thank you. How are you doing? Your weekend went well I hope."

I sat down and tucked my feet under me. "Yes, it was fine." A lie but that's what my life was.

"I was actually calling to ask a favor and you're mother said you might be able to help."

"I'll try. What's up?"

"I was wondering if you'd be able to run the blood drive tomorrow afternoon."

Before I could answer, she continued.

"Alice was supposed to do it but she got called away to another hospital. Half their nursing staff is out with the flu and she couldn't tell them no."

I hated blood. The smell, the sight, and the knowledge that it was coming out of people would just be too much.

Rosalie took my silence as consideration.

"I know it's short notice Bella, but I'm out of options. Not to make you sound like a last resort but since you have nothing to do with The Cullen Foundation, you sort of are. It would only be for a few hours. Ten until two. Please. I'll take you for a late lunch or dinner?"

I had to say no. I needed to say no.

"Of course I'll help Rosalie. What do I need to do?"

"Oh thank you, Bella! You're amazing! All you'll need to do is go to the emergency room department and let them know you're there to see Edward, he'll get you all set up."

I inhaled sharply. Edward. I'd get to see him. I smiled...then frowned. This wouldn't work. I already couldn't stop thinking about him. Spending time, no matter how small that amount of time, wouldn't help get him off my mind.

"Is that a problem, Bella?"

I cleared my throat. "Umm, no, that's fine. What time should I be there?"

"Around nine if that's okay. We have to get everything set up and that takes some time."

I agreed. Rosalie thanked me four more times before we hung up.

I had to tell Demetri. He would be upset. I already agreed to do something that didn't involve family. Without his permission. He was definitely going to be upset.

I'd have to lie about Edward. D would be irate if he knew I'd be spending time alone with a guy who wasn't related to me.

Yeah, I hated blood.

xx-xx

Hell.

That's what last night was.

I told Demetri about helping out with the blood drive and he lost it. He yelled vile things at me and then the hitting started. I'd take a million awful words rather than a slap to whatever body part he could reach at the time. I knew this would piss him off and still I did it. Maybe he was right, maybe I asked for it.

As I lay in bed looking up at the ceiling waiting for my alarm to go off, I thought about why I let him do this to me.

This morning he acted as if nothing had happened. He even kissed me on my cheek.

I'd went back to bed after taking a couple pain pills. I was sore.

_"You're going to learn sooner or later Bella that I decide what's best for you!" ...slap to my arm._

I rolled carefully on to my side.

_"You're going to become a whore. I will not be married to a whore who goes out and does whatever the hell she wants to do!" ...kick to my thigh._

I closed my eyes and the tears slid down my nose on to my pillow.

_"You vowed to honor and obey Bella! Do you remember those vows?" ...shoved against the desk._

I looked at my arms and could still feel the weight of him.

_"Tell me you're sorry! Say it and mean it!" ...arms pinned to the bed._

I barely made it to the bathroom before bringing up what little breakfast I ate.

xx-xx

"Good morning, I'm here to see Doctor Cullen."

The nurse behind the desk looked up from the chart she was studying and sighed.

"Who may I say is requesting a visit?"

I almost laughed.

"Bella Volturi."

She picked up the phone and spoke quietly...paused...looked me up and down...then hung up.

"He'll be right out."

I nodded and took a seat.

Less than a minute later, Edward walked out of the door leading to the exam rooms of the emergency room.

"Bella, it's so nice to see you again." His smile. I like it.

I gave him one in return.

"Hello, Edward, I hope I'm not taking you away from anything important."

He shook his head as he spoke, "No, I just finished up my last patient. Doctor Crowley is on duty for now. Come, I'll show you where you'll be setting up."

And with that, we were walking down the hallway toward one of the large conference rooms.

"Rosalie asked me to convey her deepest thanks for helping out today."

I glanced at him.

"She did that herself five times yesterday during a six minute phone conversation."

He laughed. I also liked that.

"Please convey my deepest acceptance of her thanks."

"I will," accompanied by slight smirk. _That's nice..._

He held open the door to the conference room and I saw that there were cots and computers ready to be used.

"We hold most blood drives in here so a lot of the equipment just stays put. You're staff will be arriving soon and they're all pretty good to go as far as what they're doing. You'll just need to supervise and answer any questions."

He went over and started uncovering all cots and turning on the computers.

"What if I don't know the answer?"

He turned from the computer he was looking at and gave me a slight smile.

"I'll be here. I can help you."

I knew he didn't know about my situation but in that moment, I felt as if he was telling me that he could really help me.

"Bella? Are you alright?"

I must have had confusion written on my face.

"You look as if you're going to pass out. Are you're sure you can do this?"

I sat down.

"Of course. I just haven't been feeling well. I'm also a little tired."

"Well if you need to go home at anytime, please don't hesitate to let me know. I'll be happy to take over. I'd hate for you to be feeling ill and have to deal with all of this."

I said it and I meant it. "Thank you."

The blood drive went surprisingly well. I only felt faint once and that was because I made the mistake of looking over and caught sight of the blood traveling through the tubes.

I actually enjoyed myself most of the time.

I tried to tell myself that it was because I was doing a good deed and a big part of it actually was because of that.

The other big part was Edward.

We talked a lot during the time I was there. He told me a bit about what he did at the hospital, other than emergency room medicine, and even about his family. The Cullen's were becoming quite familiar even if I had only met them once. With the exception of Carlisle of course.

Edward also asked about me. I told him a lot of general information but I tried to stay off the subject of my husband. He seemed okay with that and only asked about how Demetri and I met and how long we'd been together.

He also kept asking if I was alright. I'd grimace if I moved to fast or stretched too much. I told him I just slept wrong.

It was nearly four when we finished cleaning up the conference room and by then I was tired, even more sore, and hungry. My ribs were extremely tender today and my thigh hurt so bad that I almost couldn't walk without a limp.

I didn't want to, but I had to get home. Ice packs and heating pads were going to be my best friends tonight.

"I'll walk you to your car."

I accepted the offer. His company was welcomed.

"You did a wonderful job today."

"All I did was stand there and direct people where to go...but thank you."

He turned to look at me.

"You're a people person and that's what made you such a success today."

I shook my head and gave him a smile.

"Why do you think Rosalie didn't do it? She has a very low people tolerance, Bella."

I laughed. I could see that.

As we came upon my silver Lexus, "This is me."

"I hope I'm not out of line here but...would you want to join me for dinner? I know you haven't eaten all day."

I was silent. I wanted to say yes. I had to physically stop myself from saying yes. Demetri would kill me. I should be calling him right now.

"That's so nice of you, but I really should be getting home. My husband likes a warm meal when he gets off work."

He doesn't frown. He understands and that makes me feel even worse.

"Of course. Well, until next time Bella. Have a good evening."

He walks to the elevator in the parking garage and he goes up.

Watching him leave does strange things to me. I don't like how it makes me feel. I'm going insane I'm almost positive, I mean, I've only met the man twice. Still, I don't want him to go away.

I'm just about to call his name when my phone starts to ring.

It's D and he's not happy with me.

I get into my car and drive toward the anger.

I drive toward the person I want to walk away...but won't.

xx-xx

I flex my fingers knowing the pain will come and it does.

I lay my arm back down on the pillow next to me.

Another sprain.

It's wrapped and I've been icing it all day. I'm supposed to meet my brother for lunch and I can't show up with a brace.

He'll ask what happened and I absolutely can not lie to Jasper.

It's like he knows the minute I even think of lying to him.

I am dressed very casually. Too sore and tired to care about looking chic. Jasper won't care. He'll be in jeans and button down. I'd bet money on it.

Just before I leave to meet Jazz. I get a text.

I assume it's from Demetri because he's the only person who would be trying to get a hold of me in the middle of the day.

I'm wrong.

**Hope you're feeling better. **

**Edward.**

I smile. I want to save it. I don't. Demetri would find it and then it'd be all over. Not just this marriage but any hope of any kind of friendship with Edward. Demetri destroys everyone he meets.

I do text back.

**I do.**

What I don't tell him is it's because of him.

What I don't ask is how he got my number in the first place.

Despite all my bruises and pain I smile the entire way to lunch.

"So she is all weepy and clingy when I tell her I just need space. I don't get girls, Bells."

I laugh at my brother. He's so lost.

"You might get them if you treated them like the women they are. You're too immature Jasper."

He scoffs but doesn't deny it. He is so different from Emmett and myself. We all blame middle child syndrome.

"Moving on, I heard from Emmett last night. He'll be up this weekend. Mom has roped him into the hospital gala."

"Really? That's great. I miss him. When does he get in?" I ask, before taking a drink of my sweet tea.

"Early Friday morning. He wants all three of us to have lunch."

I nod.

"How long can he stay?"

Jasper shrugs and takes a bite of his chicken enchilada. "I think he's planning on leaving Monday morning."

I sigh. I love that he'll be here but when he leaves, it hurts.

"Well I suppose three days is better than no days at all."

"Yeah, he said that he'd be here for Thanksgiving and Christmas this year though, so that's something."

I'm so excited about this news.

Emmett and I have always been closer than myself and Jasper. I'm not sure why, but that's how it's always been. Emmett makes me feel safe.

"I can't wait."

"How did that blood drive go?"

I'm sure I looked surprised.

"How did you know about that?" I ask reaching for my glass with my injured hand. I grimace. Jasper notices but doesn't say anything.

"Mom mentioned it yesterday. She said she hoped you didn't pass out."

I rolled my eyes and went to pick my glass. I stopped just before doing so though. Catching myself.

Jasper eyes my wrist.

"How did you hurt yourself this time?"

I can see the accusation in his eyes.

"I tripped."

It's lame and I know it. Jasper confirms by shaking his head.

"That's bullshit Bella."

And it is. It's a lot of bullshit.

"You know how clumsy I am Jazz. Besides I'm not the one who broke his finger falling off a bunk bed." I say with a raised brow.

Jasper laughs and just like that all suspicion is put on the back burner.

"Em pushed me off thank you very much and my finger bent all the way back!"

I laugh and Jasper sticks his tongue out at me. We focus back on our food.

"I love you, sis."

I look up and see Jasper looking at me. He's suspects but would never ask me. There's just a little too much doubt in his mind. One day he'll have enough evidence and he'll ask. I hope I'm still able to answer.

"And I love you."

* * *

Let me know what ya think!

I'm almost done with chapter 5 so as of right now the update will post next Friday.

Which reminds me-sorry this update is a day late. Like I said...RL = fail right now.

**Exciting news!** - Five of the most amazing girls ever (JMC, Bbebar,shackle_me, tg10781, Sophz456) & myself have started a blog! It's a fan fic reccing site but we also are going to be doing author interviews as well! Please visit & let us know what you think! You can also suggest fics to rec! **www(dot)reccingball(dot)blogspot(dot)com**! -(just take out the (dots) and put an actual dot..lol)-

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What I'm reading right now: Paper CutOuts by twistedcoincidence. check it out. love it!

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-rach.


	5. LoseLose

Hi.

Sorry this chapter is a day late. RL is not being easy on me. Any who...

_**kellyprovence**_ - BETA!

_**Bbebar**_ - pre-reader & my twifey!

_**Warning**: For How Long deals with physical & emotional abuse. If these things offend you or are hard for you to handle then please don't read. It won't be anything too graphic but the abuse is still there_

_**Disclaimer**: SM owns Twilight & all that. I own this. _

_

* * *

_

**For How Long - Lose-Lose**

_-At times the happiness of others hurts worse than the pain. At times the happiness of others is the only cure for the pain-_

"Bella, it's so nice to see you again." Esme looks beautiful. I wonder if she has to try or if it's just a natural thing?

"Thank you, it's wonderful to see you again as well. I'm sorry for having to reschedule on such short notice. " She takes my hand and shakes it. Gesturing to the chairs in front of her desk, she invites me to sit.

I had to call and let Esme know that I was going to be helping out with the blood drive and would have to reschedule our consult regarding the decor ideas for the apartment. Thankfully, Wednesday worked better for Demetri otherwise he would have been even more upset. It was rude to break appointments.

"No need to apologize Bella," she answers with a small laugh, "You were helping out my daughter."

I nod and smile. "My husband is actually here as well...or he will be in just a minute. He's stuck in traffic I'm afraid."

"Oh, well that's okay. We can skim the top of the what we're wanting to do until he arrives."

I sit and so does she. She pulls a file out of her top drawer.

"So, this is a three bedroom, two and a half bath, correct?" She asks without looking up from the file.

"Yes, that's right. It's only been vacant for a couple of months and it's fairly new...but I want to make it my own."

She nods. "I understand. You want to make it your home."

I don't confirm or deny this statement. It won't ever be a home but it'll be as close as I'll get, I'm sure.

Esme's assistant pops her head in the door and announces that Mr. Volturi has arrived. Esme says to show him in and we both stand.

"I'm so sorry I'm late. Afternoon traffic is what it is though," he explains after kissing my cheek and shaking Esme's hand.

"It's no problem, Mr. Volturi. We were just going over a few things."

"Please call me Demetri and fill me in."

For an hour we sit there listening and commenting on Esme's ideas for our new apartment. Demetri seems to like most of them and Esme in general. I rarely speak up as to what my opinion is, only doing so when Esme asks me directly. Demetri never does.

At the end of the meeting we schedule a time for all of us to view the apartment. I explain how we're remodeling some of the structural pieces and Esme said there would be no problem getting a feel for it.

She would have her whole team with her the next time we met and we'd get started right away. Demetri made it no secret that he wanted to be in the apartment as soon as possible.

"Just give Bella a call if there are any problems with the time we've chosen," Demetri says, right before he heads back to school.

"You're husband seems lovely, Bella." _Yeah, I know...lovely._

"Yes." That's all I offer in the form of agreement. He _seems_ to be a lot of things but he's so much _more_ than he seems.

Esme gives me a curious look but quickly switches back to professional.

"I'll see you in two weeks then, if not before. I'd like to arrange a lunch or dinner where we can all get together soon."

I turn to her. "That would be nice. Just let my mother know or you can call me directly."

She nods and wishes me a good afternoon.

xx-xx

When I enter the apartment, I look around. It's so clinical here. Everything having it's place. It doesn't even look lived in most days. I sit on the couch and pull my legs up under me. I lay my head back and behind my closed eyelids I see a house with two children who have toys in the living room and shoes in the door way. A man who kisses me like it's the first and last time-every time. I see happiness and love. There is no fear or anger. I sigh because I know that is the only place I will ever see these things.

My phone interrupts my day dreaming. I pick it up out of my purse, look at the caller ID, and debate on whether I should answer.

It's Edward.

I take a deep breath and tap _answer call._

"Hello?"

"Good afternoon Bella, how are you?"

I smile...I'm not sure why...but I do.

"I'm fine, thank you. I just got home from a meeting with your mother actually."

"Ah and that went well I hope."

"It did, thank you. How have you been?"

"Oh, I'm just fine. Eating this nutritious cafeteria food. I wanted to see how you were feeling?"

I thought about telling him exactly how I felt. _I'm tired and I'm sore. I have a sprained wrist and bruises that would make a grown man ache. _

"I'm feeling better, thanks."

"I'm glad to hear it. I hope I'm not bothering you."

"No, of course not. I'm actually free most afternoons." _Why did I just tell him that?_

I'm not sure how to feel about Edward's calls and texts. Actually, yes I do know how I feel about them. I don't mind them which is probably the worst way to feel about them. I deleted his text and I'll clear this call out of my call log. I also hope he doesn't stop. Which again doesn't make sense. I've only seen the man twice and neither time would be called life changing. He's just...different. Maybe that's why I don't want him to go anywhere.

"Oh, well I'm glad I'm not keeping you from anything. I did have another reason for calling. Mother mentioned having you and your family over for dinner Friday. She said that it will be a pre-gamer for Saturday's gala."

"Your mom knows what pre-gaming is?" I ask with a giggle.

"No. Which is why what she suggested isn't pre-gaming." He also laughs.

"Has she talked to my parents?"

"Yes and Mom was going to call you but she had to meet a client so she asked me to do it."

So he didn't just call to talk. This makes me frown and again, I don't understand the reaction.

"Oh. I see. Well, I'll run it by Demetri and get back to your Mom. I'd hate for you have to play middle man."

"I don't mind. Talking to you is hardly an inconvenience, Bella," He says quietly.

There's a moment of silence. I'm not sure where to go from here. I don't want to say something inappropriate and he's probably fighting the same battle. He gives first.

"Well, you can definitely just give me a call if you want but if you feel more comfortable with my mom, I understand."

"It's not about comfort, Edward," I sigh,"I'll let you know, soon."

"Sounds like a plan. I'll let you go. Take care, Bella."

I say good-bye as well and then there is just silence.

xx-xx

When Demetri gets home I'm just setting the food on the table. He greets me with a hello and a kiss to the cheek. He sits down and we say Grace. It's quiet for some time. I'm too busy thinking about Edward and Demetri is most likely waiting for me to ask how his day went.

"Something on your mind, Bella?"

I'm startled out of my thoughts by D's question. "No, just tired."

He nods.

"How was your day?" I ask. I really don't want any fighting tonight.

"If you really wanted to know, you would have asked fifteen minutes ago when I got home," He says with an edge.

I know that what I do next is going to mean the difference between a dull and predictable night or a long and rough one. I take a deep breath and hope I can diffuse the situation. Then I remember that Demetri's temper is, in fact, the most unpredictable character flaw he has.

"I'm sorry, Demetri. It was incredibly rude of me not to ask how your day was. You're tired and all you want to do is vent. Please, tell me how your day was."

I don't move. I don't breathe for what seems like an eternity. I'm waiting. Waiting for him to decide what's going to happen. This is almost the worst part. Almost.

The minute his eyes glance at me, I accept defeat. He's angry. I can't tell if he's truly angry at me or just the day in general. I wish the day got some of his wrath.

"You don't care how my fucking day was, Bella." His voice is deceivingly calm.

I go to clear the table but Demetri slamming his hand on the table stops me.

"All I want is a wife who cares about my fucking day. Is that so much to ask? I didn't think so at first, but every night for the last five fucking days, you seem to have more important things...or people...on your mind."

I wish he'd yell. I'd gladly take yelling over his evil calm.

A normal person would respond here, plead their case but I know better. My words would only make it worse. So I sit there as he berates me. I don't know what else to do.

"Tell me. Right now. Who are you seeing? Does your mother know him? Your mother has never liked me. She would be a bitch and set you up with someone else," he pauses and stands, "No, it's probably one of your father's colleagues. You are into us older men aren't you? At least for a little while?"

He's moved so now he's standing right beside me. I don't look at him. I'd start to cry if I did.

I don't realize he's pushed me out of my chair until I hit the floor. My wrist, the sprained one, takes most of the force. I catch my breath and go to stand up.

"I didn't tell you to get up, Bella."

"Please Demetri, don't do this. I didn't mean to upset you."

He laughs but there is nothing happy or humorous in it. It's evil.

"Upset me? Oh Bella, when are going to understand that that's all you do?"

He grabs my arm and yanks me up in one swift motion. He's squeezing my bicep to the point where circulation is being cut off. He more or less drags me to the living room and throws me down on the floor.

"If you wouldn't be so damn inconsiderate of my feelings, I wouldn't have to do this. I wouldn't have to teach you over and over how to take care of your husband."

He brings his foot back just a bit and kicks me right in the mid-section. It knocks the air out of me and my eyes start to water. My arm immediately goes to cradle my stomach.

He crouches down and touches my cheek.

"Now, you'll sleep on the couch tonight. I have no use for you in our bed."

He sees it as a punishment but to me, it's a Godsend.

xx-xx

It's Friday morning before Demetri will speak to me again and that is only to call me incompetent.

"Why didn't you tell me we were having dinner with the Cullens tonight?"

"You wouldn't speak to me. How was I supposed to tell you?"

He snaps his head up and glares at me.

"You could have just fucking said the words, Bella. I'll pick you at seven. I hear dinner will be served at eight."

I nod even though he's not looking at me.

"I suppose I should be thankful that loser of a brother of yours called to ask for a ride otherwise I probably would still be uninformed. I, of course, looked like an idiot when he mentioned it and I had no idea what he was talking about. Was that your goal, Bella? To make me look like an idiot?"

I couldn't help the sigh that accompanied my answer, "Of course not, D. I simply forgot. I had no ulterior motive."

He scoffed, "Like hell you didn't."

He stood up and gathered his briefcase. "I suppose I shouldn't feel obligated to tell you this, since you obviously don't feel it necessary to relay things to me but I'll be out of town next week. Tuesday through Friday. We'll talk about rules and such when I come to pick you up."

He exited the apartment without waiting for a response.

Demetri rarely took business trips. College professors didn't usually have the luxury of taking time off. Classes and grades waited for no one. D being out of town meant I'd have rules, usually certain times he'd call or that I wasn't allowed to go certain places. I was hoping that he'd still be somewhat open with the guidelines...I did make him mad, after all. I couldn't wait to have the apartment and my life to myself, mostly, for four days.

My phone rang before I could day dream too long.

I looked at the ID and smiled big when I saw it was Emmett.

"Hello, Em."

"Bells! How are ya sis,?"

"I'm...alright. How are you? When did you get in?"

"Yeah, I've been alright. Just got in about an hour ago. Come save me, please."

I laughed. I could only imagine what Mom and Dad were putting him through. The usual questions I'm sure. How are you, how's work going, have you met anyone, when am I gonna have a grandbaby to spoil. Yup, just the normal stuff I'm sure.

"I'll be there in half an hour with Jazz."

I hung up with Emmett, called Jasper up-informed him of the impromptu rescue mission and left the apartment.

xx-xx

"Dude, please tell me you didn't just bang her to bang her."

I covered my face with embarrassment when the waitress approached our table. Emmett was a lot of things but quiet wasn't one of them, usually. She gave me an amused smile, set our refilled drinks down, and shook her head as she walked away.

Jasper only met his volume. "Nah, I mean she was cool. Legs for days, I mean a real looker but she wanted to meet Ma and Dad after like, the second date. I'm too young to settle down."

I cleared my throat and raised an brow. I was younger than he was.

"Well, for guys it's different, Bells. I mean marriage is something that you took to real nicely. I wouldn't have the guts to even pop the question."

I shook my head. "You guys are pigs. One day, you'll find a girl who you can't live without and then you'll decide not to."

My brothers looked as if I had two heads or something. I suppose spelling it out for them was my only option.

"You'll decide _not _to live without her. Geez, keep up boys."

For fifteen seconds it was silent. Then laughing. Very loud laughing.

I again, hid my face and tried to blend in with the table. I had no idea how I was related to the likes of these two boys.

"Bella, that's fairy tales and bullshit. I will never meet a girl I can't live without," Jasper retorted, doing an awful imitation of my voice for the last part.

I took a minute to really look at my brothers. They were still kind of chuckling. They looked happy and weightless. I envied them. They did what they wanted to do and didn't have the consequences I did. I didn't blame them or anything. I chose the life I have. I would gladly take what I have so they could be the happy ones.

"Hey Bella, you alright? Where'd ya go?"

I blinked a couple times and gave Emmett a small smile.

"I...uh...no where. I'm right here."

"So, Demetri sounded a little peeved that he didn't know about the dinner at the Cullen's tonight," Jasper noted, before taking a bite of his steak.

I nodded, "Yes, he wasn't happy with me at all. I'm not sure how I forgot about it."

Emmett shrugged his shoulders, "It happens."

That was the thing though, it couldn't happen. I had far too much to lose by letting things like that slip my mind.

"Anyway, I asked for a ride, but I'll just ride with Emmett. I don't wanna piss Demetri off anymore than he already is."

Silently I thanked him. It's not that D didn't like Jasper but he didn't see how a man Jasper's age could still be a reckless, man-whore. Demetri's words...not mine.

"Well, ride with Em if you want but don't feel like you have no other choice."

'Hey, I'm not that bad!" Emmett cut in.

I laughed and then Jasper joined in.

"Okay, so maybe I am."

This was what I missed. The three of us just having a good time and laughing.

Emmett leaving will hurt so bad.

xx-xx

The rest of the day was boring, not that I minded. I knew that the evening would be anything but.

Demetri picked me up at seven sharp. Half the drive to the Cullen's was spent in silence. When Demetri finally decided to talk, it was about his trip.

"I'll be at a seminar. They've asked four professors to speak and I was chosen as one."

"That's wonderful, D, " I said sincerely.

"Anyway, I'll leave early Tuesday morning and will be home around eight Friday night. I will call you three times a day. I expect you to let me know what your daily plans are when I call you in the mornings. Are we clear?"

"Yes, we're clear."

These instructions were always the same. Whether it be for four days or four hours. I'm not sure what knowing my plans accomplished exactly. He was going to be more than five hours away. It's not like he could stop me from doing anything. I think he just knew I wouldn't take the risk...and he was right.

"You are only to see your family. Immediate family. No Cullen's-not even Esme. We aren't scheduled to meet with her for another week."

I did not like this condition.

"Why can't I see the Cullens?"

"Because, I don't like the influence they have on you. Really Bella, you've been around them two or three times and already you're forgetting to tell me things and you're mind is otherwise occupied. No Cullens."

"I don't see how thats-"

"I said no!"

Demetri's volume startled me. In the car, he was far too close and I didn't want to make him so upset he decided not to go on to the dinner. I looked out the window, waving my white flag, so to speak.

"That's what I thought."

His voice was smug. He got far too much joy out of my misery.

We pulled up at the Cullen's just a few minutes later. The house was beautiful. It was Victorian. White, big, and grand. A wrap around porch fit so well with the atmosphere that the landscaping brought. I felt like I was in the deep south rather than Chicago.

Carlise met us at the door. I hesitated a bit before following behind Demetri.

"Ah, Bella, so nice to see you again. I'm so glad that you and your husband could make it."

I nodded, "Yes, thank you so much for the invitation. Doctor Carlisle Cullen this is Demetri."

Demetri extended his hand and Carlisle shook it firmly. I didn't miss Carlisle's eye flick to me when he did so.

"Nice to meet you Doctor Cullen."

"Please, if I may call you Demetri then you must call me Carlisle."

Demetri gave a slight nod and polite smile, "Of course. Thank you."

Carlise led us further into the house and as I looked around I noticed how, though the house was quite large, it still felt comfortable and lived in. It felt warm.

Just before we entered what I assumed was the living room, I saw a family portrait and then three slightly smaller pictures of individuals.

I stopped just a second to see them.

"Rosalie was seventeen, Edward was fifteen, and Alice had just turned thirteen." Carlisle explained.

"Your family is beautiful," I whispered.

Rosalie proved my theory of being born a gorgeous female. Her blonde hair was almost blinding. She had this smile on her face that made you think of the Cheshire cat from Alice In Wonderland.

Alice had longer hair in the picture. It was just past her shoulders, where as it was just below her ears now. Her bright blue eyes shined just the same though.

Edward looked exactly the same. He, of course, looked a bit more mature, but it was quite obvious his hair couldn't be tamed then either. His green eyes made him stand out but his subdued smile helped him blend in. He was amazing, even at fifteen.

"Come Bella. We don't want to keep everyone waiting."

I looked over at Demetri to see his arm extended and a look of annoyance on his face.

"Oh it's fine, dinner won't be ready for another ten minutes or so," Carlisle was polite in his explanation.

"Still, we should join the others."

Again, I saw Carlisle give me a look that asked so many questions I couldn't begin to answer.

He gestured down the hall and told us to take the first left we came to. That would be the living room.

I glanced at the few other pictures on the wall and saw the Cullen children grow up in front of my eyes. They all had breathtaking eyes. The girls with the crystal blue ones and Edward with his entrancing green ones. Perhaps green was too simple of a description. Emerald maybe? Jade? I'd have to study them more to be sure. _Bad idea, Bella. Bad idea._

"Bella! I'm so glad you found the house without any problems."

Esme greeted us as soon as she saw me step over the threshold. She was wearing a blue cocktail dress that wouldn't look half as good on me. _It's definitely a natural beauty._

"Thank you again for the invite, Esme. You have a wonderful home," I replied accepting her hug.

I saw my parents and brothers stand as well and went over to greet them. Kisses, hugs, and handshakes were all dispersed evenly over the next couple of minutes.

"I'll go get the kids, dear. Dinner will be ready in just a couple of minutes."

"So, Bella, what's it like growing up with two brothers? Made you tough I'd imagine."

Carlisle's question was a simple one and I'm sure no one else thought anything of it but I was paranoid. I didn't want him to turn this into something it shouldn't be.

"Um, yes. Well I certainly learned how to stand up for myself," I answered with a slight smile.

"Bet you got all kinds of battle wounds to show for it."

"She sure did," Emmett supplied, "This one time she had a cut all the way up her leg because she didn't want to be left behind when Jasper and I went rock climbing. We were camping with some friends and she had to tag along."

"Yes, and then she cried the whole night when she thought we were all asleep. She put up a brave front when it happened though. Just shook it off and kept going," Jasper finished the re-telling of the childhood memory.

The words were too much. I don't stand up for myself and Jasper was right, I do put on a brave front, but I'm a coward behind it all. I gained nothing as far as self-preservation from having two brothers.

Everyone laughed. I smiled though I'm sure it look as fake as it was. I wanted to be that brave little girl again.

Esme came back in the room with her three beautiful children.

"Ahh, there's my family. Rosalie, Alice, Edward, I'm sure you all remember Bella quite well. This is her husband Demetri. Demetri these are my children."

Demetri shook each hand and said hello.

"So nice to meet the people Bella has been talking about or to."

Rosalie winked at me.

"Esme, Emmett and Jasper were just telling us about how brave Bella used to be when she was little. She toughed out an awful cut so she wouldn't be left behind."

"Oh, well if that's not Edward, I don't know what is!"

"Mother, no."

Edward sounded scared to death but in a humorous way. His smooth voice made the whole room seem calm.

"Oh shush. Edward had been sick for nearly four days, a cold of some sort. He was ten. Rosalie had over a couple of friends from school. Lexi and Davis. Anyway, they were all out seeing who could jump off the porch and land furthest away from it. Edward saw all this happening from his bedroom window and decided to sneak down and try it himself."

"I told him he was too little," Rosalie interjected, looking at Edward with a smirk.

"I was not too little. I was weak with fever," Edward answered, with a serious look on his face.

"He didn't have a fever the whole four days he was sick," Esme replied.

I couldn't help it, between the look on Edward's face and the raised brow of his mother, I laughed.

I immediately covered my mouth and look to Demetri who again had an annoyed look on his face.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly.

Carlisle and Alice laughed this time.

"Laugh sweetie, it's fine. We all do every time we tell this story," Esme revealed.

"Yes, yuck it up clowns."

I giggled when Edward had his lip stuck out slightly. He was pouting. _Adorable..._

"So, anyway, Edward went to jump off the porch and landed about three inches away from it. He broke his leg and was in a cast for six weeks. All because he landed on concrete rather than the trampoline the other kids were landing on."

"They didn't tell me it was down there!"

We all looked at Edward and this time Emmett led the chain of laughter.

Carlisle cleared his throat after everyone had calmed down.

"Well, Bella, if it means anything, it's okay to be a little scared every now and then. Sometimes, we cry at night when it's quiet so that someone will hear us."

I looked in his eyes just as he looked in mine.

As Esme started to gather us and lead us to the dining room, I thought about what Carlisle said.

He's right.

The only problem is that at night when I cry, Demetri is the only person who hears it and he couldn't care less.

* * *

There ya go. Whatcha think? Let me know!

So, just to be safe..I'm gonna say the next update is gonna be sometime next weekend. That way if it's not posted on Friday, I won't have to feel bad for fibbing & all that.

The Reccing Ball **www(dot)reccingball(dot)blogspot(dot)com** -blog I'm a part of along with these amazing ladies - JMC, Bbebar, shackle_me, tg10781, & Sophz456

What I'm reading right now: **Men Without Eyes** by danieller123. Seriously...anything she writes is magic. So...go read it.

Twitter me: hayboo05

-rach.


	6. Floating

Hello! Sorry for the delay. To make a short story short...my computer crashed and I lost what I had written already. So, I had to start over. So...yea. =)

Thanks to everyone who's reviewed and/or put this story on alert! Means a lot. Also, I got through a lot of the reviews but if I still haven't replied to yours, I'll get there! Promise!

My beta is **kellyprovence **& My pre-reader is **Bbebar**. I love them both. They really do amazing things for this story. xo.

PS...**At The Hip **readers, there's a note at the end of this for you. =)

**Warning**:_ For How Long deals with physical & emotional abuse. If these things offend you or are hard for you to handle then please don't read. It won't be anything too graphic but the abuse is still there._

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Twilight or it's characters. I do own this though.

* * *

**For How Long - Floating**

_-Before I went under...you vowed to save me...before I drowned...you saved me-_

The Banquet Hall looks beautiful. It's decorated with such class that it almost makes me feel unworthy of appreciating it. I hold on to Demetri's arm and we follow my parents while they make their social stops.

This is the part that makes Demetri uncomfortable. The amount of people he has no control over and the amount of people that could see him being unkind to me. The number of male eyes that are on me are far too great, though that would be his observation, not mine.

I smile slightly when I think of how unnerving this is for him. He's only earned it.

The dinner at the Cullen's went well. It was polite and nice. Nothing over the top happened and Demetri was the picture of perfection, as far as a husband goes. Alice even told me as such. I didn't speak much though. Not because I didn't want to, but because Demetri made it clear with his stern glances, and then occasional kick to my leg that my opinion on most matters, wasn't warranted.

Carlisle made it a point to speak to me directly quite a few times and that made it seem as though I wasn't being kept quiet. He again, had numerous questions in his eyes, and as he was walking us out, I made a vow to myself to tell him whatever he wanted to know. I was going to go the clinic before D came back from his trip.

Edward was brilliant all evening. _He_ was the picture of perfection. I learned that while he had had a few serious girlfriends in both college and medical school, his career took far too much of his time and not many women appreciated that. He had an apartment downtown as well, and Esme was quick to point out that's where our apartment was. It turned out we were going to be only a couple of blocks away from each other.

"Bella!" I'm pulled out of my musings by Alice's voice. I hear her but have yet to see her energetic face.

I'm searching all around and still nothing.

"Boo!" I jump, yelp, and draw far too much attention to my family and myself.

"Alice, don't do that. You scared me!"

She's laughing with her hand over her mouth. _Yeah, it's soooo funny. _

Once Alice composes herself she gives me a once over. "You look beautiful, Bella. That shade of blue is magnificent with your skin tone."

I smile and run my left hand down the bodice of the midnight blue gown I purchased a few weeks back.

"Thank you. You look lovely as well." It's the truth. Her champagne colored gown looks gorgeous on her.

"Thank you. The Doctor Auction is in twenty minutes and I wanted to make sure you have your bidding number."

Up until this point, Demetri has been talking with my father and few hospital board members, but he quickly tunes in to the rest of our the conversation.

"Oh well, I wasn't planning on bidding, but thank you anyway."

"Nonsense. It's for a wonderful cause, and quite frankly all of the doctors up for bid would be lucky to have you bid on them."

"I don't think so, Alice." I say with a slight shake of my head.

She forces the paddle with the number sixteen across it, in my hand. "Just because you bid, doesn't mean you'll win, Bella. Even if you do, it's just a dance. It's not like you're marrying the guy!"

I don't want to look at Demetri's face right now. He's moved to holding my hand in his and he's grasping it quite hard. He's angry. _Big surprise_.

"Yes, Bella, you must bid. All the money goes to the hospital." My mother picks the worse subjects in which to offer her opinion.

"Here's yours, Mrs. Dwyer. I'll find you after the action, Bella. I have to go deliver Mom and Rosie's numbers. See you soon."

And with that, she's gone. Flitting through the crowd. Leaving me to pick up the pieces. I'd like to be angry at her but I can't be. It's not her fault she doesn't know.

"The men usually just sit down for the Doctor's Auction, Bella. The women always stand close to the stage."

I nod like I care.

"Yes, Demetri, I'll show you where us forgotten husbands sit whilst our women spend our money on rich doctors," my father chimes in. I'm sure he meant it as a joke but Demetri's face shows it to be anything but funny.

He leans down and whispers to me, "It'll do you well to remember who you come home to every night, wife." Then a kiss to my cheek.

I watch as he and my father walk toward our designated table for the dinner that follows the auction and dances. From what I gather, the winner of each doctor gets to dance with their "prize" two different times tonight. The times are designated and both the winner and doctor get to pick a song.

My mother grabs my hand and starts pulling me toward the stage where people are finishing up the set-up.

"Attention ladies, the Doctor Auction will start in ten minutes. If you haven't received a bidding number, please come to the table to left of the stage. Good luck!"

There is clapping and a few cat calls.

"Oh good, you two are bidding as well!" I look to my right and see Esme.

"Well, I have a paddle. I'm not sure if I'll be bidding," I respond with a smile.

"Bella, you have to bid on Edward. I usually do it so he doesn't have to dance with anyone he doesn't like, but I know he wouldn't mind if you won."

The thought of dancing with Edward is wonderful, but completely out of the question. Demetri would kill me.

"I'm sure a married woman bidding on such a charming bachelor isn't what the eligible ladies are looking forward to."

"That's the problem. There are too many girls here that always end up having one too many glasses of champagne. They practically throw themselves at him." She is shaking her head in that way that mothers do. "Also, I don't like the idea of drunken girls throwing themselves at Edward. High society or not."

"Alright ladies, the Doctor Auction begins now!"

The room erupts in cheers and applause.

I see Alice and Rosalie just to the left of us, but a little closer to the stage. I wonder if they're going to bid on their father and/or brother, as well.

"The first handsome doctor we're auctioning off tonight is Doctor Tyler Crowley! He's been on staff here at NMH for three years. He's single, loves to walk his Great Dane in the park on his off days, and his favorite food is Thai. The bidding will start at three-hundred dollars!"

After that paddles go up all over the place. Doctor Crowley is handsome. He has too much of a baby face for me though. After nearly ten minutes, the bidding stops when number twenty-two bids seven-hundred on him. He walks off with a very smug smile on his face.

"Our next doctor is none other than Doctor Carlisle Cullen." The MC has to stop for almost two minutes to let the applause and cat calls die down. I find it funny and start to laugh. Esme covers her face and mumbles something about having to face these women again.

"Now, I shouldn't have to tell any of you how amazing this man is but…I will! He's been at NMH for almost ten years, his family founded The Cullen Foundation, he loves to travel and paint, he enjoy oldies music when he's doing paper work and loves spending time with his family. Now, c'mon girls, let's start the bidding at three-hundred dollars!"

The bidding for Carlisle goes on forever, and in the end, Alice wins. She bid three-thousand dollars for her father. I smile. I would do the same for my dad.

Esme leans over and whispers, "She only let it get so high because she knows we'll be the one writing the check."

I laugh. That also sounds like me.

"Next up we have Doctor Andrew Benjamin! He's been on staff just over a year now. He likes to surf, play guitar and enjoys cooking foreign foods. He also keeps a vegetable garden! So, once again, let's start the bidding at three-hundred!"

We listen until number forty-five wins Doctor Benjamin with a bid of nine-hundred dollars.

"Now, last but not least, is the junior Doctor Cullen. Please welcome Doctor Edward Cullen!"

I can't stop myself from joining in with the applause. He looks so handsome on stage.

"Doctor Edward Cullen has been at NMH for two years, works out three times a week, plays piano as often as possible, and prefers to cook every meal. He wants to visit Australia one day and touch a kangaroo!" There are 'aww's' throughout the room. "So, let's find him a travel companion, ladies…three-hundred is the starting bid!"

At least thirty paddles go up. Esme's is not one of them. Poor Edward is going to go home with some drunken socialite. Unless he likes that sort of thing…

When the bidding reaches thirty-five hundred, less and less paddles go up. Number six seems determined to win him. I look to the girl and then to Edward's face. I frown. He doesn't look excited about this at all. The bidder, I mean.

"Thirty-five hundred going once, going twice-"

I see Esme's paddle go up and she bids four-thousand.

She leans over and whispers, "I don't like that Victoria girl. Man-eater is all she is."

I laugh and look back to Edward. He looks relieved. He sees me looking at him and offers a gentle smile.

The bidding ends and the MC ask for all winning bidders to come to the left of the stage to finish up the details. Mother and I head back toward the table and see the rest of the Cullen's there mingling with my family.

Except for Demetri, he's sitting at the table by himself with his Blackberry out. I would wonder what he was doing that couldn't wait until we left, but I have an idea. I don't know a name though…just that it's a girl. He starts to lift his head and I look away. I don't want to see that look on his face. The one that asks me what I'm going to do about it…because I will do nothing about it. There's no point. I don't want my husband, might as well let someone else have him.

"Mom bid on Edward again?" Rosalie asks.

"Yes, she saved him from a girl named Victoria," I answer while taking a glass of wine from a passing waiter.

"That girl is vile. She went to college with Edward. She only wants to sleep with him so she can brag to her friends. She's been trying to get with him since college," Rosalie explains.

"Yes, and he won't give her the time of day. He doesn't like fast and easy. He's a slow and smooth kind of guy," Alice chimes in.

I'm wondering why they're telling me such things. I want to know Edward better, sure, but not when it comes to the way he likes his intimacy. I have no use for the sort of information.

"Well, in any case, your mother saved him." Having nothing better to say.

"I spend more money bidding on my son then I do on decorating my home every two years." Esme's voice comes from behind me.

She comes over and starts telling Carlisle they'll need the check written and handed in before the end of the night.

He asks how much Edward went for this time and when the four-thousand dollar price tag is revealed, he nearly chokes on his brandy.

"Good grief, Ms. Worthington certainly is persistent. I'm going to go bankrupt if it continues like this."

"I wish the gold digger would just move on and find someone else to dig her claws in. She's absolutely wretched, and I hope Edward never loses his senses."

"Mother, could you be any less discreet?"

I turn and see Edward also take a glass of wine.

"Well, I'm sorry but she is all those things I mentioned. She';s not going to use you for bragging purposes," Esme says sternly. She's very serious about this.

"I'm a grown man and I'm not stupid. I can make my own decisions. I have no interest in the woman, so can we please stop talking about this?"

Conversations turn to other things and I find myself talking to Edward about music. I personally can't get enough of it and have many different tastes. He likes classical and jazz, mostly. I used to go jazz bars all the time when I was younger. I had this amazing fake ID that Emmett had made for me on my eighteenth birthday. He did the same for Jasper.

I haven't been since the weekend before my wedding. Mom insisted on taking me. She said it was something I loved and not to deprive myself of something enjoyable just because I was getting married.

"Have you been to Slow and Smooth?"

I snort. Literally, I snort and Edward looks at me with an amused look on his face.

I clear my throat and try to forget about what his sisters had said earlier. It would definitely seem that Edward was, in fact, a slow and smooth kind of guy.

"No, I haven't. Do you recommend it?"

"It's great. It's only been open a couple of months, but it's fantastic. You should check it out soon."

"I'd like that. I love jazz," I say softly, knowing that it probably won't happen.

"I know the owner fairly well, so I usually can get a really good table. If you decide to see what it's like, just let me know and I'll call for you." He says, finishing off his wine.

"Thank you, Edward."

I look over where Demetri was sitting and find his seat empty.

"Mom, where's D?"

She looks around, obviously unaware that he was missing and shrugs. "I don't know, sweetie." She turns her attention back to Esme and Carlisle.

"Do you need to go look for him?" Edward asks.

"No, it's fine." I don't want to go find him. He's had a bit to drink and he's probably talking to his girlfriend. Better her than me.

"Attention, the auction winner's and their doctors will be dancing in about five minutes. Please make your way to the dance floor." The MC announces.

"I should be embarrassed that I will be dancing with my mother, but it's better than the alternative."

"Yes, I've heard some things about the other bidder, " I say with a smirk.

He lets out a chuckle, "I can assure you everything you heard was the truth."

Before I can reply, Esme comes up to us.

"Sweetie, I have a work emergency, " she holds up her cell phone, "I'm not going to be in here for the dance. Both of your sister's have disappeared and I'm at a loss of who to ask."

"Well, we don't actually have to dance. It's fine. Go take care of your call," Edward says dismissively.

"No, you have to dance. I can't technically donate the check until you've fulfilled the dancing requirement, if you will. I signed a paper stating as much. "

Her eyes turn to me and I see the question before I hear it. I'm about to excuse myself before she has a chance to get the words out but she touches my arm.

"Bella, I wouldn't ask if I had another option but will you…well will you take my dance? I know you're a married woman and I shouldn't be asking but it's for charity and I'm sure Demetri would understand."

I'm about to say no because Demetri would most certainly mind. Then I look up at Edward and I see something there. I'm not sure what it is exactly. Happiness? Hopefulness? I can't say no. My mouth won't move and before I can even register what I'm doing, I nod.

"Oh honey thank you! You're a life saver and I'll be back in as soon as I can." She's gone after that. A blur of black. Her dress is beautiful and I can only hope to have her figure at that age.

"You don't have to do this, Bella. I can ask Vicci. She'll be more than happy to oblige," Edward offers.

"No, it's fine."

I'm not sure that it will fine be afterwards but it is right now. I look around and still Demetri is nowhere to be found. If it stays that way, then everything will be okay.

We make our way over to the MC just as she's announcing the dance. The dance will be to "Pain In My Heart"-Otis Redding is genius. I know the song well and judging by the smile on Edward's face, so does he.

We walk on to the dance floor with the other three winning couples.

Edward's left arm gathers me at the waist and his right hand reaches for mine. My right hand, in turn, rises to his shoulder. The song starts, he moves us, and I let go.

_**Pain in my heart**_

_**She's treating me cold**_

_**Where can my baby be?**_

_**Lord no one knows**_.

Edward can dance beautifully. He easily makes it seem that I possess the same dancing talent he does.

_**Pain in my heart just won't let me sleep**_

_**Where can my baby be?**_

_**Lord where can she be?**_

I look up at him and he's already staring down at me. A smile tugs at his lips.

"Are you enjoying yourself this evening, Bella?" he asks softly.

I sigh, but its content, because right now, I am indeed. "Yes."

_**Another day, as again it is tough**_

_**I want you to come back, come back, come back, baby, 'till I get enough**_

"This may be completely inappropriate and if so, I hope that you're not offended, but I would very much like to spend more time with you."

I don't answer right away; I just listen to the music and feel us move.

_**A little pain in my heart just won't let me be**_

_**wake up at restless nights**_

_**Lord and I can't even sleep**_

"It is quite inappropriate," I start and Edward frowns but nods his head, "But I would like that as well."

He wants to smile, I can see it tugging at his lips, but he knows this isn't something that should be regarded with a smile. I'm not sure what this is.

"We're just going to be friends, Bella. I'd never ask you to be unfaithful to your husband."

Again, it's like he can read my mind.

"I know that. Being unfaithful to Demetri will never be an option."

_**Stop this little pain in my heart**_

The look on Edward's face is asking me to explain. I mean surely the face value of the statement is enough, but he heard the sadness in my voice. He knows it's more than that. Still, he doesn't ask, not tonight. I've decided that if he does ask, I'll tell him.

_**Another day as again it's rough**_

_**I want you to love me, love me, love me, baby, 'till I get enough**_

_**Pain in my heart, a little pain in my heart-stop this little pain in my heart**_

_**Stop this little pain in my heart**_

_**Someone stop this pain-someone stop this pain**_

-xx-

"See the issue with this whole thing is…you agreed to it. You didn't object once."

Slap.

"You are my wife and you willingly hang all over another guy and I'm supposed to be okay with it because it's for fucking charity?"

Slap.

"D, I was just doing Esme a favor. They couldn't-"

Slap.

"Oh I'm sure there was a favor involved, Bella. What was going to happen, huh? Were you going to go out the back and show Edward what kind of dirty whore you are?"

He picks me up my forearms and throws me into the coffee table.

"I just don't understand you. Why must you always screw up?"

He's pulling me up from the floor by my hair. He's slapped my face at least a dozen times. He never touches my face. He's pissed. It's Sunday. He let himself sleep on my punishment. He said it like it was a gift.

His face is even with mine and in his eyes I see hate. Mine for him. His for me. There is no love there.

"You are my wife, damn it. You will not embarrass me like that again, do you understand me?"

He doesn't give me time to answer, though I'm guessing it was rhetorical question to begin with. He painfully grabs my face with his right hand and practically tosses me on to the sofa.

"When I'm done with you, you won't be able to leave this God damn apartment until I get back."

I'm not sure how many times he hits and slaps my face but eventually, the pain stops. Not because he has, but because my face is numb. Maybe it's just as tired as I am of all this shit.

He finishes with a kick to my stomach.

"I'm leaving tomorrow, by the way. I'll still be back Friday. You know the rules, Bella. I expect you to follow them."

The door to our room closes just before my swollen eyes do.

-xx-

It's Monday. Four-thirty.

Edward has been texting me all day. At first it was just too see how my Sunday went. After a couple hours of me not replying, he texted again asking if I was feeling alright. His texts are coming more frequently but I still refuse to answer one.

It's like he knows something's wrong. I can't see very well out of either eye right now, so I decide no one who text me today or tomorrow will be getting a reply. Also, I sound like I have a mouth full of food when I talk so no talking on the phone either. My jaw is so swollen.

Another text. Edward.

Bella….really…let me come make sure you're alright. I'll leave right after. Ten minutes tops.

I can't let him see my face like this. Saturday night I felt so resolved that I would tell him the minute he asked, but now, I don't think I would do it. Even with the evidence literally slapped across my face.

I hate to ignore him but I don't know what else to do.

I am trying to make some iced tea when there's a knock at my door. No one is supposed to be coming by and if it were a delivery, the front office would have called up.

I walk over and curse the apartment building for not having peep holes. What high rise in Chicago doesn't have a peephole? I take a deep breath crack the door open.

Edward.

I try to keep my hair where it covers at least my left eye. The eye he can see from the small opening in the door. He's already seen it though. The look on his face goes from concern to anger. I've made him upset too.

"Bella? Are you…are you okay?" he asks cautiously, like I could bolt at any moment.

"Edward, what are you doing here?" I can't help the irritation in my voice. I don't want him to see me like this.

"Let me in, Bella."

I shake my head. "No, just go, please. I'll call you tomorrow." I hate how I sound.

I go to shut the door but his hand stops it.

"Please, Bella."

I want to keep arguing but I'm so tired. Tired of fighting. I walk away from the door and head toward the sofa.

I hear the click of the door as he shuts it.

I sit and wait for him to come to me. He kneels so that he's eye level with my face. My black and blue disgusting face.

"What did he do to you, Bella?" If he had asked any softer, I wouldn't have been able to hear him.

Tears. I feel them stinging. I blink a few times and look away from him. I can't see the concern in his face right now. I don't deserve it.

"Is it because of the dancing, because of me?"

Again, I shake my head. I will not let Demetri make this wonderful human being feel bad for anything.

"No," I croak.

"Please tell me what happened."

I don't though. I sit there and I look back at him. His eyes are the windows to his heart. I see that. I want to get lost there.

"Bella, let me help you."

I sigh because it's not that easy. In words, yes but when it comes to all that 'helping me' involves, I don't want Edward apart of this.

"Please, just go." I whisper.

"I can't leave you alone like this. You could have facial fractures."

"I don't. It's just swollen and bruised. I've had ice on it all day. I'm getting ready to switch to heating pads. Now, please, go."

"My God, Bella. How many times has he hit you like this?" Edward asks with a look of disgust on his face. I cause this.

He continues, "Why won't you tell me what happened?"

I think of all the reasons and I tell him.

"There's no point in telling you or anyone else. Demetri would never let me go. Don't you understand that? I could go stay with my family but he would just come there and make it out to be my fault, or apologize and make me seem as though I made it all up. He'd convince people I was crazy or delusional. He'd take me away, Edward. He'd take me somewhere far away from my family. I'd die if I didn't have at least them." I can't help that I'm getting angry. I feel awful that I'm raising my voice to Edward though.

"No one would be able to protect me from him. He owns me. I have nothing that's just mine. Hell, even these bruises belong to him. There is no help for me and I refuse to let something as ugly as Demetri and this situation taint someone as amazing and beautiful as you."

I get up and walk away. I can't look at his green eyes anymore. They hurt too badly. They make me think that there's a way out when there isn't.

"Bella, wait."

I pause, though I'm not sure why.

"I'll help you. Come with me."

I can't help the tears now. They fall fast and they sting the cuts on my cheek.

"Why would you even offer to do something like that, Edward?"

He walks to me and takes my hands. He looks at me with those green eyes and I see why.

"Because you're amazing and beautiful, Bella."

I don't know that I believe him, and I won't agree with him helping me, but for right now, for today, I let him wrap me up in his warmth and I feel safe.

* * *

So...whatcha think? Letting me know would be wonderful.

I think the road is going to become a bit bumpy from here on out...but lots of different reasons!

I want to have the next chapter out by the weekend but I can't promise that will happen. I'm no longer on vacation so writing time will once again be limited. I'll try really hard though!

The song in this chapter is **Pain in My Heart by Otis Redding**. The link is on my profile. Check it out...it's amazing.

Check out **The Reccing Ball**. You'll find a great fic...i'm sure of it! www . reccingball . blogspot . com

**At The Hip readers**: As stated above, my computer crashed and with it went the 2,000+ words I had written. I'm going to work my ass off to get the chapter out asap...but be patient with me, please! (well even more patient then you've already been...cause you've definately been patient!)

Twitter me_...hayboo05_!

Thanks so much!

-rach.


	7. Hope

Late...I know. Forgive me?

It's a short chapter...I know. Forgive me?

*bats eyelashes*

Beta & pre-reader ...**kellyprovence & Bbebar**...nutin but luv fo ya!

**Warning**:_ For How Long deals with physical & emotional abuse. If these things offend you or are hard for you to handle then please don't read. It won't be anything too graphic but the abuse is still there._

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Twilight or it's characters. I do own this though.

**_**This is the edited chapter! I uploaded the rough copy last night instead of this one! Sorry! Most of the differences are grammar related but there are a few line changes & stuff...so yea. =)_**

* * *

**For How Long - Hope **

_-When everything else runs away from you...love & hope walk slowly.-_

My eyes want to open but my mind wants to keep them closed. Maybe to protect me from the pain that will make itself known once my body wakes or to keep me from realizing it was all a dream.

I had the most wonderful dream. Edward came to me and told me it would all be alright. He said he'd take me from this life I've been living for so long. He promised to never hurt me.

I feel myself smile. Then I hear a laugh but it's not my laugh. It's manly.

My brain is far too curious, so it makes my eyes open despite their protest.

I see him. He's smiling at me. Edward.

I sit up far too fast and my head spins. Then the pain comes. My face feels worse now than it did earlier. Wait, what time is it? Is it still today?

I hold my head while trying to keep my hands from touching my face. I don't want to know if it looks worse. It probably does. How can he stand to look at me like this?

I feel the bed dip when he sits next to me. He places his hand on my back gently. I want to shrug it off. It feels nice but he shouldn't be here. I should tell him to leave. I won't though. I'm selfish like that.

"What time is it?" I ask in a whisper.

"Almost midnight. You were asleep for a while."

"Why are you still here?"

He looked hurt at the question.

"Do you want me to go?"

"Yes. No. I don't know…what I want," I answered.

It wasn't a lie. It wasn't about what I _wanted_. It was about what was expected.

"Bella, I'll leave if that's what you want but I would really like to help you."

I shook my head. Did he not understand?

"You can't help me! God, why can't you get that? He'll find me, Edward. No matter where I go, he'll find me. He'll take me away from my parents-from the only people that love me. That can't happen!"

"I won't let him find you, Bella. I'll do anything I can to keep him from you. He won't take you away from your family."

"Can you promise me that? Can you promise me that he'll never hurt me again?"

He was silent. I saw that he wanted to tell me yes but he knew better. There was nothing about this that was certain. Other than me staying exactly where I was.

"Exactly. You can't promise me anything. So please stop making up these scenarios that just make it worse. Being realistic is the only thing I have right now."

I hate being angry. He didn't deserve to see this side of me, but I just had to stop this. He had to leave.

I stand and flinch. I hurt everywhere.

"Please, just sit back down. I'm going to go get you something for the pain. Where's the medicine?"

I sigh. I need something so I tell him to look in the cabinet in the bathroom. Top shelf.

He walks into the bathroom and I want to cry. Seeing him leave, even just the room, is incredibly hard. I tell myself that it's because he knows now and he could tell someone. I think I know it's more than that. It _is_ more than that.

He comes out and walks toward me with questions in his eyes; on his face.

"These are what you want for the pain?" He asks, slowly.

I nod and take the Vicodin.

"Bella, why do you have something that strong?"

I don't answer at first. If I tell him why, he'll have questions. Just like now…only he's not asking the tough ones yet. He will if I tell him why I have these.

"Bella?"

"I had a facial fracture. The pain was horrible so my doctor gave me something for it."

I didn't want to tell him how I got the facial fracture, or how it was his dad who prescribed me the pills.

"How did you get the fracture, Bella?"

"It doesn't matter, alright. Thank you for all your help. Don't feel like you have to stay." My words were cold, but I needed him to want to leave.

"I'm going to say this and I hope you don't take it the wrong way," he paused until I looked at him, "You're not the only battered wife out there Bella. Lots of women go through this and a lot of them get away from it."

Now I was angry at him.

"You think I don't know that? I know I'm not the only one, Edward. We all think we hide it so well, but if you know what to look for you see that we're everywhere. We flinch if anyone gets too close, we never make eye contact unless it's unavoidable, and we never initiate conversation. We hope that we never make him too mad and hope that he can stop himself the next time he needs to hurt us." I can't help the words; I need to get them out, but I'm sorry Edward has to hear them.

"We wonder if the next time is going to be the time he loses it completely and makes us a memory, a statistic. Being dead is a lot more terrifying then being beaten every now and then." I sigh. That's only half true. "Most of the time, anyway."

I look at him. He's sad. I keep fucking up.

"I'm not the _only_ one, Edward, but I _am_ one. Does knowing that help you at all?" I don't give him time to answer. I'm mad, but not at him…not anymore. It went as fast as it came. "I didn't think so. So just do yourself a favor and leave. Don't make my fucked up life your problem."

He doesn't walk toward me or move at all. His eyes are on the carpet.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset. I just want to help. If you don't want it, then I'll go. I just want you to know that I _want_ to help."

He turns to leave. Good. He needs to leave. I wait a couple of minutes before venturing out in to the living room. I've never felt more alone then I do right now; With Edward gone. I gasp when I enter the room and see him sitting on the ottoman. I feel relieved and then I'm angry at myself for feeling that way. He needs to leave. I need him to leave. I want him to stay.

He looks at me with pain in his eyes. I panic. Why is he hurting? That's my job.

"I can't…I don't want to go, Bella." He whispers, the words catching in his throat.

"I don't want you to go, Edward. I just don't know how to let you stay." The tears fall now. It hurts. My face isn't pretty when I cry. My face isn't pretty right now at all though, so I cover it with my hands. Ignoring the pain the pressure brings.

I feel his arms. They're warm. Just like before and I melt into him.

"I'll help you learn," he whispers.

-xx-

"I'll take you to your parent's and I'll tell them everything. You won't have to say anything. Would that make it easier?" Edward asks before biting into his pizza.

It's two in the morning and we have pizza and iced tea. He was hungry.

"No, because they'll still know. Demetri will come there and I just…no." I shake my head to drive the point home.

"Bella, your family isn't going to let him take you away." He sounds exasperated.

"Yes, he will. They can't be with me twenty-four seven, Edward."

He puts his plate down on the coffee table and comes to sit next to me on the sofa. He goes to say something but the house phone rings, cutting him off.

"Who's calling you at two in the morning?"

I don't answer him. I know who it is.

"Just be quiet. Don't say anything."

I walk over to the phone and pick it up off the cradle.

"Hello?"

"Were you sleeping?"

"Yes, is everything okay?" I know why Demetri's calling. He wants to make sure I'm home. Like I'm supposed to be.

"Everything's fine. Just turning in. They had a get together here and it went on longer than expected."

"Oh, well I hope you enjoyed yourself."

Edward is watching me the whole time I'm talking. Taking in my side of the conversation.

"How are you?"

He wants to know about my face.

"I'm swollen and it hurts some, but I'll be fine," I answer, gently touching my face. Edward's face grows angry. I don't like him angry.

"Good, I can't very well take you out to dinner if your black and blue."

"Yes."

"I'll let you get back to sleep. What are your plans tomorrow?"

I don't know. I suppose I'll tell him what I should be doing tomorrow.

"Nothing."

"Well, don't mope. Clean or shuffle the furniture around. Do something useful."

"Of course," I want to cry again. I hate this. He makes me out to be the bad person.

"Goodnight, Bella."

He hangs up before I can wish him the same.

"What the hell is doing calling you at this hour?"

I'm startled at the anger in Edward's voice.

"He wanted to make sure I was home and to check on my face."

"Bella, you have to do something. I can't leave you here knowing what he does to you. I just can't!" I'd never heard Edward yell before.

"He'll be gone for four more days. He won't do anything to me if you leave…" It was weak but I didn't want Edward to feel like he had to help me. Knowing didn't obligate him to anything.

"Fine, then I'll stay here until I can't anymore and then we'll decide where you'll go afterwards."

I choke on my iced tea.

"You can't stay here. My neighbors will eventually realize you're not my husband."

He sighs heavily.

"Well, we'll need a new plan, but I'm not letting you stay here after he gets back."

I don't want to talk about this anymore. I knew there was no way for him to help me. He would have to learn that too.

"Why were you smiling when I woke up earlier?" Change of subject was always a good defensive tactic.

He looks at me with his eyes narrowed. He's on to me.

"You were smiling."

I wait for further explanation but receive none. I prompt him.

"And?"

He shrugs.

"And I liked that. I like when you smile."

So, I do.

"How awful do I look right now?" I ask.

"You're beautiful, Bella."

I shouldn't believe him. How could I possibly look anything short of atrocious? He's not lying to me though. I can see it in his eyes. He really thinks I'm beautiful.

"You're sort of beautiful, too," I whisper.

He smiles now. Yes, he's most definitely beautiful.

"Are you hurt anywhere else?"

I look away and think before answering. I don't see the point in lying to him now.

"My stomach is a bit sore and so is my shoulder. They're fine though. Just bruised."

"Can I ask you a question?"

I laugh. Now he asks permission. He smiles shyly and I nod.

"Do you always treat yourself?"

I quickly look away. I don't want to tell him I see his father. That I saw his father.

"No, I'm not a doctor and sometimes I need one."

His eyes get angry again but he reins it in.

"Where do you go?"

"To this clinic. I pay though. I'd never take advantage of a place like that."

I get up slowly and walk our plates back into the kitchen. He's going to figure it out. He's a smart man and I'm being too vague.

He's standing in the doorway now and he's working it out in his head.

"Bella, what clinic do you go to, exactly?"

I don't face him but I tell him.

"The free clinic off of Hamilton."

There's silence and I fight the urge to turn around. I don't want to know how angry he is with me.

"My dad?"

I nod.

"How long has he known you?" His voice is still calm but I can't see if his face matches.

"He's seen me a few times but he didn't know I was Bella Volturi."

I turn now and see the curiosity on his face. He doesn't look mad.

"I'm Isabella Swan when I'm at the clinic."

"Well, at least you were seeing someone you could trust."

"He was very good to me."

"It's about time someone was."

-xx-

I feel the sun before I see it. I groan when I roll to my back. The soreness isn't as bad in my stomach or shoulder but my face still hurts.

I turn my head to look at the bedside clock. 10:30 am.

Normally I would be asking myself how in the world I managed to sleep so late but staying up until five this morning with Edward was the reason.

Edward.

There's no sign of him in the room. I stand slowly and walk toward the living room.

He's asleep on the sofa. Legs awkwardly thrown over the arm and his head all smashed on the arm. He's got to be a foot longer then my couch. He can't possibly be comfortable. Why didn't he take the guest room?

I went to bed before him. He said he was just going to look some things up online and then would turn in.

I try to be quiet while making breakfast. Brunch?

I'm just taking the last of the bacon out of the pan when he speaks.

"Smells wonderful."

I turn and smile at him. My face is looking a little better. The swelling is all but gone now.

"I was just about to wake you. Do want coffee or orange juice?"

He walks and sits at the table. I like this view. He fits.

"Coffee please. How are you feeling?"

I pour him some coffee and take my seat. It's a loaded question he's asked me and I'm not sure how much of it I want to answer.

"The soreness is almost gone and I think the swelling is going down."

"Yes, you're right. Just bruising it seems. I think Tylenol or Ibuprofen would suffice as far as pain relievers, Bella. Vicodin is a strong kind of pill."

I know all this. I'm not trying to become addicted to anything. That's all I need is something else to make me messed up.

Sometimes the pain is just too much to handle on my own. I figure if I can get rid of the physical pain then the emotional pain doesn't seem so intrusive.

"Yes, I'll only be taking over the counter medicine from now on, Doctor Cullen."

He laughs and digs into the eggs that are next to his bacon and toast. For once, I don't mind having to fix a meal for a man.

We make idle conversation during breakfast and by the end of it, I almost have myself convinced he's going to let this go.

We are just stepping into the living room when he starts.

"So, we need a plan, and the sooner we have one the sooner we can get you out of here. Away from Demetri."

He's serious. I can see that and have no doubt he means it. I'm just weary of how he plans on doing these impossible things.

"First thing is first, we get you out of this apartment."

Already I see the problem with this whole thing. Where am I supposed to go? He knows where my whole family lives. He'll come and take me away or make them think I need professional help.

I ask these questions and state these facts.

"Bella, he wouldn't dare go to your parent's home and demand that they let you go. They'll know he's been abusive."

"He'll tell them I'm making it up, that I did this to myself. He's a great liar, Edward. They'll believe him."

He shakes his head.

"I think you underestimate your family."

"I think you underestimate Demetri."

"Well what about Emmett? Couldn't you go to Tennessee and stay with him?"

"He'll find me. If I'm not with my family here, he'll know I'm with Emmett."

"Bella, you have to give me something here. I mean…if I didn't know better I'd say you-"

"What?" I ask, cutting him off. We both know what he was going to say. I don't want to be angry with him but I swear on everything Holy if he finishes his sentence, I'm kicking him out and never speaking to him again.

"Nothing, Bella. I'm sorry. Of course you don't want this."

I can't help but be a bit upset, but I'm not mad at him.

"I don't want this for myself any more than you want it for me, but I can't just take leaps and bounds without knowing where I'm going to land. I don't have that luxury."

"I know, I'm sorry," he says with a sigh. I want him to stop apologizing. He's done nothing wrong.

"Come with me then."

I blink a couple of times. I didn't just hear that. He's not serious.

"Did you hear me, Bella?"

I nod but can't form words. This man is crazy.

"Well, what do you think? Demetri wouldn't think to look there would he?"

"I'm not sure," I finally croak out.

"What do you mean?"

"He thinks I like you. He might not think of you at first, but he would eventually put two and two together."

"He doesn't know where I live though, and I could instruct my parents not to tell him or anyone else, for that matter."

"Don't do this. Don't make this your problem, please."

I don't want him to get hurt. Demetri will hurt him to get to me. This isn't Edward's problem to fix and I'm not someone he should care about.

"I can't just go on and act like nothing happens here. He _beats_ you, Bella. How can I just pretend I don't know that?" He's getting angry now, but I'm not sure if it's at the situation or me this time.

"I don't know what I'll do if you get hurt," I confess with a tear sliding down my cheek.

"I don't know what I'll do if you get hurt…again," he counters.

"Will you come with me, please?"

I look away from his face. His perfect doctor face that helps people when they're hurt or scared. His eyes hold so much about him and I want to look until I know all there is to know. I take a deep breath and turn to face him again. I scoot closer so I can see his eyes in all their evergreen glory.

I see truth and heart. Honesty and trust radiates from them. There's something else there too, something I can't place just yet. It's the final straw. That undefined emotion he has lurking.

"Yes."

I hope it's only the last straw and not the final nail.

* * *

Let me know what ya think?

I know it was short but I wanted this to be it's own chapter.

Next update...SOON! (cop out i know...but RL has really been kickin my ass as of late.)

I posted a o/s last week. It's called **Sleep** & I'd really love it if you checked it out! =)

Check out **The Reccing Ball**: www . reccingball . blogspot . com

If you aren't reading **Dead On My Feet**, you're not living a full life. Mmk?

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Twitter me: **hayboo05 **

-rach.


	8. Forward

Hi lovely people! Here's the chapter.

Btw, thanks so much for puttin this story over a hundred reviews! Mean's a lot!

Not much to say really except I hope ya like it!

**kellyprovence & Bbebar **= beta & pre-reader! They rock my world.

**Warning**:_ For How Long deals with physical & emotional abuse. If these things offend you or are hard for you to handle then please don't read. It won't be anything too graphic but the abuse is still there._

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Twilight or it's characters. I do own this though.

* * *

_For How Long - Forward_

_-To get where you want to be...always put one foot in front of the other-_

I watch as Edward walks out the door. This time I'm not afraid of it. He'll be back and the next time he leaves, I'll be with him.

He's going to his apartment to shower and change clothes. He's going to call his father and they're going to come get me. Both of them.

Edward says I need to tell my parents. He looked a little embarrassed when he explained why I need to do it now. He said my bruises would speak for themselves.

Edward told me not to answer any calls from Demetri and I told him he was out of his mind. That would only cause Demetri to show up sooner rather than later. As it was, we only had three days to perfect this getaway.

Right now the tentative plan was for me to stay at Edward's until I could get a restraining order. I would inform my parents not to talk to Demetri or contact him in any way. The Cullen's would be asked to do the same.

Edward was confident that without any information from our families, Demetri would be flying blind. I wasn't as sure as he was but I didn't have a better plan so I didn't protest too strongly.

I decide to take a shower and pack a bag. I'll need things at Edward's. I'm not sure how long I'll be staying there so I just guess as to how much to pack.

After the restraining order is in place, I'm going to be staying with my parents. That is, of course, if they'll let me. Edward thinks I'm insane for thinking that they wouldn't want me there. I suppose I see his point, but that doesn't mean all the uncertainty goes away.

I'm just putting a pair of jeans in my suitcase when my cell phone rings. I look at the display and see it's Demetri. He'll call the home phone when I don't answer my cell. Usually, it's to make sure I am, in fact, home.

I take a deep breath and prepare to ignore the ringing. When it starts, instinct kicks in and I run to the phone in the living room. I stop myself just before I take it off the cradle.

It rings four times before heading to voicemail. I make a mental note not to ever check that message.

Ignoring that phone call does two things; it makes me realize I can ignore them, and that I'm even more afraid then I was five minutes ago.

I hear my cell phone chime to indicate a text message has been received. I walk in and open it.

_**I suggest you make yourself available to take my calls, Isabella. I'll call again in a couple of hours. **_

Honestly, I expected him to be more upset but one can never tell in a text message.

Another message arrives, but this one is from Edward.

_**I'm leaving my place now. I'll be there with Dad soon. Are you okay?**_

He shouldn't worry so much about me, it will do nothing but stress him out. I reply.

_**See you soon. I'm fine, really.**_

I don't know that I believe it any more than he does.

-xx-

I'm watching a re-run of Dawson's Creek when I hear the knock on the door. I should be a bit embarrassed about the fact that I'm watching a show that was cool back when I was high school, but I'm not. I always wanted a love like Joey and Pacey; meant to be but had to be worked for. I want that.

Still, I turn the television off and I open the door. I see two of the most handsome men I will ever see, apart from my father and brothers.

Edward takes nothing from his dad, physically. He's all Esme on the outside, but it's his character that screams Carlisle.

Carlisle looks at my face impassively. He's a doctor right now. Not a friend.

"How are you, Bella? Any pain?" He asks, motioning to the sofa.

I walk over and sit.

"I'm fine, and no, there's really no pain."

He nods and sits next to me.

"I'm just going to check the bones and make sure there are no fractures I can feel, if that's okay."

I turn my face toward him and he pushes on it in different places. I flinch when he reaches my left cheek.

"Well, I don't think it's fractured but it's definitely bruised. I'd say your cheek will be the last thing to heal on your face. Where else are you hurt?" The question is meant for me but he looks to Edward. I would have told him the truth.

"Her abdomen and her shoulder were giving her trouble yesterday," Edward answered softly.

"Do you mind if I check them out, Bella? We can go into your room if you'd rather not do this in front of Edward."

I don't have a problem with it. I can show Carlisle both parts without exposing myself.

"No, it's fine. We can stay here."

I lift my shirt so that it's just below the cups of my bra. I see the bruises, but the pain has all but disappeared. Carlisle pushes in a few places and is satisfied there's nothing broken.

To see my shoulder, I have to unbutton my shirt a bit. I have the first button undone when Edward clears his throat.

"I think I'll get something to drink. Anyone else?" Both Carlisle and I shake our heads as Edward all but runs from the room.

"Is he okay?" I ask, concerned.

I hear his father chuckle and continue to unbutton until my shirt slides off my shoulder.

"He's fine, but you're undressing and while I can look at you with doctor's eyes, I think my son finds it a bit harder to do."

He looks at my face and I'm sure he sees the look of confusion it wears. I'm not naïve, I'm just not following.

"I'll just say this, I see you as a daughter. You're nearly the same age as Alice and Rose. Edward most definitely does not consider you a family member, Bella. He _cares_ for you."

"Oh." I don't know another way to respond. I hate that he's uncomfortable around me though.

"Will staying with him make him uncomfortable? I don't want him to feel like he can't be in the same room with me…"

"You can button your blouse and no, I think as long as you don't start undressing in the middle of the living room, he'll be just fine." He winks at me and I smile.

He calls for Edward. He emerges warily.

"I'm going to go make a call, I'll be right back," Carlisle explains before ducking into the nearest open door.

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

He shakes his head and walks toward me.

"You didn't. I just…Bella I…" he opens his mouth to finish his sentence but all that comes out is a gust of air, "I just didn't want you to be uncomfortable."

"Alright, I have everything set up and the car is waiting out front."

Edward and I look at Carlisle as he comes to stand next to us.

There's a beat of silence. I'm trying to figure out what Edward was going to say. Edward is trying to get his father to say something by giving him not so subtle looks and head nods. Carlisle has a look of amusement on his face.

"Well, we should go. Bella, where are your things, Edward can carry them down."

"They're in my room, I'll go get them."

I walk into the bedroom and look around. Nothing of any importance is in here. Demetri didn't allow me to have personal pictures up. He said if he wanted to stare at my family's faces, he'd ask them over.

I pick up my suitcase then let it down. I roll it out and Edward takes it from me.

"Is there anything else you'd like to take from here, Bella?"

I look at Edward. His good radiates from him.

"There's nothing in the apartment that I ever want to be near again."

This time when Edward walks out of my door, I am right next to him and I know this is where I'm supposed to be.

-xx-

On the way to Edward's apartment, Carlisle explains we'll go to the police tomorrow. He wants me to have time to work through all this mentally before I actually go and do it. I'm not sure another day will change anything, but I'll gladly take the extra time.

Edward lives in a beautiful apartment complex. It's a high rise just like mine, but his isn't impersonal gray, it's a soft brown. I'm sure I've suffered a head injury as I sit here and look out the car window and love the color of his building.

My door is opened and I step out.

"I'll inform my door man that you'll be staying a few days. He'll have a key made for you."

I quickly look at Edward, panicked. I didn't plan on being alone.

"I have to go into the hospital for a few hours; I've got patients I need to check in on. Taking a couple days off does back things up." He says with a smile.

I feel awful. I didn't think about him missing work. Yes, he must go in. I'm a big girl. I can do this by myself.

We walk into the complex and stop at the front desk.

"Caius, this is Bella. She'll be staying in my apartment for a few days. She'll need a key and full access to tenant areas please."

Caius is handsome. He's younger than me, probably in college. He has a nice smile and kind eyes. He looks me up and down; I blush but don't feel offended.

"Of course, Mr. Cullen. I'll have the key for you first thing in the morning and I'll get her access card as soon as Tyler gets here to take over."

There's a silence, then Carlisle suggests Edward find his manners and introduce Caius and I.

"I'm sorry, Bella, this is Caius. He's worked in the building long before I became a tenant. He's very trustworthy and I hope you'll feel comfortable with him helping you at any time."

Caius stuck his hand out toward me and I shook it firmly.

"It's nice to meet you, Caius. Thank you."

"It's nice to meet you as well, Ms…" He trails off not sure of my last name. Also, he's given me the wrong preface.

"It's just Bella for now Caius, is that alright?" Edward asks, looking down at me.

I nod. We say goodbye to Caius and head to the elevator. Edward pulls out a black card with the name of the apartment complex on it.

"This is my access card. Only people living in the building have one and you can't get on the elevator or stairs without one, unless Caius or Tyler uses theirs, and then they escort the delivery man or whoever up. Aside from my family, everyone who visits me will have an escort."

That's comforting. I tell myself that's a great safety feature.

All three of us board the elevator and Edward pushes the round '24' button on the keypad.

"Bella, when would you like to call your parents?" Carlisle asks softly.

I wanted to answer with never. I didn't want to tell them that they're "strong and independent" daughter has been a victim of domestic abuse for nearly four years. I was most afraid of seeing the disappointment they'd feel.

I cleared my throat, "Well, I thought about just waiting until tomorrow to do that as well so I could give them all the information at once. I don't want to tell them they have to wait for answers. I'll invite them over for dinner, if that's alright."

Carlisle nods and seems satisfied with the answer.

"Do you think they think it's odd you're staying with me and not them?" Edward asks, staring straight ahead.

"I'm sure when I explain as to why that is, they'll find it a reasonable plan."

"Of course."

The elevator dings twice and the doors open. We turn left once we're in the hallway and I notice there are only three apartments on this end of the hallway.

"There are six apartments on this floor but only three are occupied. Two on this end and one on the other. My neighbor, Tanya, is in 2407. I wouldn't be in a hurry to meet her."

"I don't plan on the leaving the apartment so that won't be an issue," I state. I wonder why he said that though.

"She's had it bad for my boy the entire time he's lived here and he won't give her the cup of sugar she wants to borrow," Carlisle explains with a pat to Edward's back.

I smile at Edward's red face and his glare towards Carlisle.

"What?" Carlisle asks, feigning innocence.

I can't help but laugh out loud now.

"Don't encourage the poor bastard, Bella, it'll just make it worse."

"Edward Anthony, I'm telling your mother about the manner in which you spoke in front of a lady."

"Dad, you just insinuated my neighbor wanted to jump my bones. If you tell, I will too."

I watch the tennis match in front of me and I sigh contently. Their lives are so uncomplicated. I hope I don't change that.

"Fair enough, now are you going to show Bella the inside of your apartment or just let her admire the door?"

Edward lives in apartment 2409. It was at the end of the hallway. He swiped his key and the lock beeped once.

I entered first and looked around. I didn't want to seem nosy though so I quickly turned toward Edward and awaited his direction.

"I'll show you the guest room; we can put your stuff in there."

We walk through his living room, which is open and bright thanks to the wall of windows. It's clean but not obnoxiously so. The furniture is dark and homey. I fall in love with the fireplace at first sight. I don't get much time to see the details of room because we're already in the hall.

"This is my bedroom here." He points at the door on the right.

We pass the bathroom and he says it's mine to use, as he has his own. The guest bedroom is on the other side of the bathroom. It houses a queen size bed, a dresser, and a flat screen television hanging on the opposite wall.

The closet is a walk-in and will house what I brought easily though I'm still not sure if I'm going to actually unpack anything.

"Please make this your room. I don't mind at all if you want to move some things around, and if you need anything, please let me know."

I can't help myself. I walk to him and hug him around his waist. He's caught off guard I'm sure. It takes him a few seconds to respond and then I feel his warmth around me.

"Thank you for everything," I whisper.

-xx-

Carlisle stays. He talks to me about what happened this last time and tries to get me to talk about all the other times Demetri abused me but I don't feel like it. I've tried so hard to just forget about them. He assures me that I don't have to tell him anything I don't want to. He would have to share my medical records from the free clinic though. It seems like a million years ago that I had to go there.

He asks if I've heard from Demetri at all. When I tell them he's called my cell phone a couple of times and the house phone once, they encourage me to continue to ignore him. I agree but only because he's got to be livid.

When Carlisle gets up to leave, he gives Edward instruction to make sure he leaves his cell phone number where I can find it. Edward agrees and he bids us a good night. He promises to see us tomorrow.

"I'll be leaving for the hospital in the morning, probably around nine. I'm going to try and only stay a few of hours so I can be here when your parents arrive. Dad will come over before his shift and check on you. He goes in at one."

I feel like a child but I am grateful. These wonderful people who didn't even know me a few weeks ago are doing everything they can to help me out of this life I've made for myself.

"Thank you." I feel like I should say more but I'm not finding the words.

"Are you hungry? We can order in or I can see what I have to cook…"

"I can fix something," I respond, standing up.

"No, Bella, you don't have to do that," he counters, stepping in front of me.

"I don't mind, Edward."

"I know, but let me just order something and we just sit down and relax. You've had a rough few days. Just take it easy."

I look up at him and I see concern written all over his face.

"You look exhausted," he points out.

"Do you like Mexican food?"

He nods and smiles.

"I'll take a chicken quesadilla with a side of rice, please"

"I'll go call and you can get the drinks if you don't mind. There are all sorts of things in the fridge, tea, juice, water, wine, and beer."

I laugh. "All different flavors huh?"

"You never know what you're in the mood for."

He walks in the other room to make the call and I wander into the kitchen. I personally want wine but I can't imagine him having a wine on hand that would go with Mexican food, so I get out two beers and pop the tops.

"It'll be here in about half an hour," he announces, leaning up against the counter.

"So with traffic, they mean forty-five minutes?" I joke, holding his beer out for him to take.

"Basically." He plays along.

"We can eat in the living room if that's okay with you? I don't ever use the table in here unless it's for a holiday my mother insists on having here."

Once I've settle into the sofa and Edward into the oversized chair, we look at each other. I'm not sure what to say. There are tons of things running through my head but I'm trying to keep things as light as possible.

"Are you close with your sisters?" I figure this is a safe and light route to take.

"Yes. We haven't always been close but since we've become adults, it's been easier. Alice and I never really had a problem, but Rose and I would tick each other off every day."

"Rose is a lot like you though. She's a strong willed person, she doesn't back down easily."

He takes a swig of his beer before he speaks.

"Exactly. Neither of us would give in first. Mom, Dad, and Alice about went crazy. Looking back, both Rose and I feel awful about how we acted."

"I'm sure they forgave you easily. It's what makes a family a family."

"I suppose you're right," he says with a chuckle, "What about you and your brothers, are you guys close?"

"Yes, usually. I talk to Jasper more now because he lives here and Emmett doesn't, but when Em did live here, we were inseparable."

"It must have been hard only having boys to play with and stuff."

I sit my beer on my leg and watch the condensation make wet spots on my jeans.

"I definitely had a rough childhood. My brothers would often forget they had a sister but I learned to be as tough as them. Give the shit they made me take, you know?"

"Yeah, I do. Try having two sisters, everything was dresses and hair bows. Then it was Aunt Flo and boys. Now they're worried about never finding Mr. Right, which would lead to not having perfect babies," he rolls his eyes, "They should be more like me, then Alice wouldn't have to color her hair every three weeks to hide the grays she gives herself."

I snort. I really need to stop doing that…

Edward looks at me and laughs. "Did you just snort?"

"I get it from Em," I explain, laughing.

"Favorite family vacation," Edward prompts.

I hate twenty-questions. It feels so impersonal which in ironic considering it's supposed to help you get to know someone.

"Umm, probably Germany. We went when I was ten, and I loved it. It was dark and rainy almost the whole time but we had so much fun. We rented a car to take on the Autobahn. I don't think my mother has ever been so scared in her whole life." I re-tale the story and I can't help but smile at the thought of my mom closing her eyes and praying the entire time.

Edward sits up with his elbows on his knees and his eyes are bright.

"Mom did the same thing when we went! I was twelve. She had fallen asleep which is the only reason Dad got away with doing it in the first place. She woke up and thought she was dreaming. She started pinching herself."

We are both laughing so hard.

"That's…when…Mom…made Dad…get rid of the…Aston Martin." Edward can barely breathe between laughing and taking shallow breaths.

When the phone rings, I start trying to compose myself. I have tears flowing down my cheeks and for the first time in a long time, they're happy tears.

"Hello?" Edward asks, still out of breath, "Okay escort them up, please."

I look at him and ask the question without words.

"Foods here in under an hour. Nice."

"This was all nice," I say standing up at taking his empty bottle.

Before I enter the kitchen I hear, but just barely, "Yes, it is."

-xx-

"Remind me never to eat that much Mexican rice again," I complain while holding my stomach.

"Bella, you didn't even finish what they sent you," Edward responded with a laugh.

"Still, I ate way too much. I'm going to have to work out an extra twenty minutes this week," I say with a groan.

"You work out?" Edward asks with genuine interest.

I shake my head. "No, but I might have to start after that meal."

Edward stands and walks to this massive entertainment stand that houses a ton of black electronics. He goes to his IPod that's sitting in his IHome. He plays with it for a minute then turns toward me with his hand extended.

"Dancing is a great way to burn unwanted calories." He sounds like a late night infomercial.

"Yes, well, unless we're going to salsa, tango, or do the Macarena, I doubt it's going to help," I say with a smile.

"It's worth a shot, c'mon."

I stand and he hits the button on his IHome. It's a slow song. He gathers me up and holds me close. I let myself meld into him.

"Dance with me Bella," he whispers and then we're moving.

_Cut my skin and I bleed_

_Just like anybody_

_And I want and I need_

_As much as anybody_

_Sometimes I cry_

_But doesn't everybody_

I feel his warm breath on my ear before I hear his soft words.

"He'll never hurt you again, Bella."

_I have secrets, I have scars_

_As deep as anybody_

_I have fears no one hears_

_But don't tell anybody_

_Sometimes I lie_

_But doesn't everybody_

_Sometimes_

_Doesn't everybody_

I can't stop the tears as they flow. This song is beautiful in such a painful way.

_I know that sometimes I end up running wild_

_I feel just like a little child but tell me_

_Doesn't everybody_

_Sometimes_

_Doesn't everybody_

_Sometimes_

_Well I stumble and I fall_

_Just like everybody_

_Try to walk before I crawl_

_But doesn't everybody_

_Wish I could fly_

_But doesn't everybody_

_Sometimes_

_Doesn't everybody_

"He'll never make you feel unworthy ever again."

_I know that sometimes I end up running wild_

_I feel just like a little child but tell me_

_Doesn't everybody_

_Sometimes_

_Doesn't everybody_

_Sometimes_

_Doesn't everybody_

_Sometimes_

_Sometimes_

The song fades out but we keep moving. He pulls back just enough to see my face.

"Promise?" I don't know why I ask. He can't possibly make the promise with complete certainty that he can keep it.

"I promise, Bella."

I believe him.

-xx-

We've both showered and now we're trying to figure out how to say goodnight.

I'm in pajama shorts and a tank top. Edward wears black sweatpants and white V-neck that I suspect he's only wearing because I'm here. He's barefoot and incredible.

"I'll be up for a little while longer working on some charts so if you need anything, please let me know," He explains as we walk down the hallway.

He passes up his room and goes with me to mine.

"Well, you don't have your keys out and ready, so you must have liked the date," he says with a smile.

It was a joke so I laugh, but it's only kind of a joke. I did have a nice time with him. This isn't an ideal situation, and we're not at this stage, but I feel like I could love Edward the way you're supposed to love someone.

"I did, indeed."

His next words are so soft I'm not sure I hear them right.

"Can I kiss you?"

Yeah, I heard them right.

I look into his eyes and he's gone out on an unsteady limb. I want to, I just don't think this is what we need right now. Nothing can come from it, at least not right now. I'm still very married and even though I'm not with Demetri anymore, I still feel as though I'd be cheating on him. Not that Demetri has ever cared about cheating on me.

I am about to say no when his left hand comes up and his thumb rubs my cheek gently.

We should talk about this. We will talk about what this means and what this changes. Tomorrow. That's when everything else is being discussed after all.

"Yes."

His eyes go wide at first. He's probably just as shocked as I am that I said yes.

"You're sure?"

I nod. "We'll have to talk about everything tomorrow, but right now, I just want this."

He leans in and I feel the most wonderful sensation shoot through me when his soft lips meet mine. The kiss is slow and gentle but already so much more passionate than any kiss Demetri and I shared.

We break apart and his lips are on my forehead.

"Goodnight, Bella."

"Goodnight, Edward."

I walk into the room and close the door. I don't even try to stop the smile on my face as fingers touch my lips. I want to hold on to his taste forever.

* * *

Next chapter will be up soon. Next wknd probably.

Also, if you read At The Hip I updated that today as well. Gasp! Ikr?

I posted the o/s I entered into the Blue-Collarward Contest on my profile. "Snake" ...check it out if ya have time.

Thanks!

Twitter me...**hayboo05**

**-**rach.


	9. Betrayed

There are no words to express how sorry i am that it's taken me two months to update this story!

RL sucks. js.

**kellyprovence** is my beta. **Bbebar** is my pre-reader. Thank you both so much!

**Warning**:_ For How Long deals with physical & emotional abuse. If these things offend you or are hard for you to handle then please don't read. It won't be anything too graphic but the abuse is still there._

_

* * *

_

**For How Long - Betrayed**

_-To trust is to jump blindly-_

I smell coffee and maple syrup. I turn and glance at the clock on the wall above the side table. 8:24AM. I shoot up and start making the bed. I'm not in my room though and I realize that the minute my foot catches the chair that's sitting just to the side of the bed. There isn't a chair on my side of the bed in my room.

I'm grabbing my toe in my hand and bouncing up and down like a child. I quickly land on the floor with a thud and I can't help the laughter that bubbles out.

My eyes are closed and I'm gasping for air. I take note of the fact that it's not because I've been kicked so hard that the air has left me.

"Bella? Are you okay?"

I open my eyes to see concern on his beautiful face. He sees that I'm laughing and suddenly there's amusement where the concern was.

"What did you do?"

I shake my head because I can't form words right now. I'm sure that it's not nearly as funny as I'm making it out to be, but I love the fact that I'm laughing.

It takes me a couple of minutes to calm down. I sit up and turn toward him. Instead of me getting up, he sits down.

"I stubbed my toe and then fell flat on my ass."

He chuckles.

I suppose the small fear of it being awkward between us this morning is now nothing but an afterthought.

"I forgot I wasn't at the apartment. I don't have a chair that close to the bed there."

Edward looks at said chair and then back at me.

"You can move it. I'd hate for even a toe to be hurt while staying here." He meant it to be a joke, but considering the circumstances as to why I'm here in first place, it falls short.

"I'd never hurt you like that Bella."

I nod and try to lighten the mood. "But you're not opposed to other forms of torture?"

"Absolutely not. I prefer whips but sometimes chains are exactly what I need." The amount of effort it takes him to say all that with a straight face must be extraordinary.

I raise an eyebrow at him and he loses it. I've never heard something so poetic. His laughter could solve the world's problems.

When the laughter dies down, he becomes serious again.

"Bella, about last night, I'm sorry if I over-stepped a line. I don't want you to think that's why I wanted you to stay with me, and I know that you're hardly in the mood for male companionship in a romantic way."

I sit for almost a minute without saying anything. He's right. I don't know that I have the emotional capacity for anything romantic right now. I just know that I don't regret kissing him and I don't know that I would stop him if he wanted to again. Of course, after that speech, I'm sure he won't.

I choose my words carefully. The last thing I want to do is send mix messages. Though, right now, that's all I'm giving myself.

"Don't apologize. I wouldn't have agreed to it if I hadn't been sure I wanted you to. You're right though, as of now, I'm not sure any kind of romantic relationship would turn out well. I like you, Edward. You're so many amazing things and I'm not likely to forget that anytime soon. That being said, I also don't expect you to wait around for me. Being your friend would be an honor all in itself."

I wait to see how he responds to all of that. On one hand, I want him to tell me that he'd love my friendship and that would be all that aspired from this. On the other hand… I want his hand. I want a relationship with this amazing, good hearted man who wouldn't ever intentionally hurt me.

"Waiting for you and knowing that one day you would want to be with me would be an honor all on its own, Bella." His response was low, but he looked me in the eye the whole time he spoke.

"I want to be with you right now, it's not about not wanting you." I need him to know that he's perfect. It's me that requires work. I will never function properly; I will always need a disclaimer.

"I'll never be all better. I won't be who I was before him," I whisper.

"Wounds heal, and I want who you are now. I want you to be rid of what hurts first though."

That process starts today.

-xx-

I wave as Edward closes his apartment door. Glancing at the clock in the living room, I see it's just after nine. Edward mentioned his father was running late, but would be over around ten. I decide to finish up the breakfast dishes and call my mother to set up this dinner.

I'm going to ask Carlisle if he and Esme would come as well. I need as much support as I can gather. I'm nervous as hell as to how my parents will take the news.

I sit on the sofa and dig my cell phone out of my handbag and gape openly at the number of voicemails and text messages I have. Fifty-five missed calls/voicemails. Thirty-six text messages. All but three are from Demetri.

Those are from Mom, Dad, and Jasper.

I'm not going to tell my brothers right away. I want to see how Mom and Dad handle it first. I'll tell Jazz and Emmett soon.

"Isabella Marie, where the hell have you been? Demetri has been calling almost every hour on the hour. He's worried sick about you!" I have to hold the phone away from my ear as my mother's lecture goes on. She's unbelievably screechy.

"Well, what do you have to say for yourself?" She's asking as I put the phone back up to my ear.

"Mother, I need to see you and Dad tonight. Please don't tell D you've spoken to me."

"Oh my God. You're leaving aren't you? It's someone else?"

I shake my head.

"No. Well, I- I just need to talk to you and Dad, okay? Can you just come to dinner tonight? Seven-thirty?"

There's a long silence. I check to make sure the call is still connected. It is.

After almost minute, Mom sighs, "Yes, we'll be there. Where are we meeting you?"

I decide against telling her 'Edward's apartment', and just give her the address instead.

"We'll be there. Bella, are you alright?"

I try and disregard that it's taken her nearly fifteen minutes to ask me.

"Just don't tell Demetri you've talked to me. I can't see him, Mother." I say this with as much confidence as I can muster. I need her to understand the seriousness of this.

She sighs again. Disappointment is exhaled and I inhale it.

"Fine, but you better be ready to explain what all this is about."

I reply to dial tone.

"I'm ready."

-xx-

I'm reading _Water for Elephants_ when there's knock on the door. I freeze. I know realistically it can't be Demetri. He would have no idea where Edward lived, but since talking to my mother, I've become paranoid.

"Bella, it's Carlisle."

His voice carries through the door and I let out a breath I was unaware I was holding.

I unlock the door and step aside to let him in.

"I meant to call and let you know I was on my way, but traffic was terrible and I don't talk and drive."

I nod in understanding.

"How are you this morning? First night go okay?" He asks, taking a seat on the sofa.

"Yes, Edward was great and it did me well to be away from the apartment."

"Good, I'm glad to hear that. Have you talked to your parents yet?"

"Yes, they've agreed to come to dinner tonight. I was hoping that perhaps you and Esme could also come." My words are small.

"I'm sure that wouldn't be a problem. Esme has been asking about you. She wanted to stop in later if that's alright with you?"

I could really use a female friend. A step up from that though would be a female friend who had first-hand knowledge of what I was going through. Esme was strong enough to get away from her abusive husband. I wanted to be as well.

"Yes, that would be wonderful."

He nods. "I'll give her a call when I leave, and I'm sure she'll be in touch shortly after that."

"So, Bella, how are you feeling in regards to your parents?"

Good question. I'm scared, nervous, anxious, but at the same time, I'm also a bit excited and I'm definitely ready.

I tell Carlisle all these things.

"I think the first three emotions are extremely appropriate but you are a very strong woman, Bella, and I'm sure they'll see that."

"I just don't want to see the disappointment on their faces. My mother will probably have a heart attack at the first mention of divorce."

Carlisle gives a small chuckle.

"Well, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Besides, surely the severity of what Demetri has done to you will outweigh the divorce issue."

"Yes, surely." Though I'm not nearly as confident in that as he seems to be.

My parents aren't vain, but they were raised a certain way. The same way I was raised. You grow up with manners and self-respect, you get a good education, you find someone of equal social status, fall in love/lust/like and get married, start a family, and you stay with that person until you both give Saint Peter a wave. The end.

Nowhere in that fairy tale is divorce mentioned.

Carlisle checks out my face and ribs and says I should be just fine in a couple more days, though the bruises will get quite ugly by then as well.

"I'm off to the hospital, but don't hesitate to call if you need something."

"Thank you…for everything," I reply. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to make those words mean what they should.

His answering smile is the last thing I see before the door closes.

-xx-

It's seven in the evening. Esme is helping me finish up dinner. Edward insisted on just ordering something so as not to add to the stress of the night, but I need to cook. It helps calm me down.

Esme arrived around four-thirty this afternoon. I thought having her to talk to would be a welcoming change, but I just couldn't seem to get myself to talk about it. She said it would be a while before it was something that just came out since I spent so long trying to hide it.

So, we came up with the dinner menu instead. She was all for helping me. I really like Esme.

"Well, everything is done. It's all just staying warm," Esme announces entering the living room.

"Thank you s-"

"Bella, what did I ask you?" Esme interrupts with a smile.

Earlier she asked me not to thank her again. She knew how much I appreciated everything and she didn't need me using my energy in telling her a hundred times a day.

"Of course," I answer with my own smile.

Edward and Carlisle look between Esme and me with a look of question of their faces. I make no move to tell them and neither does Esme.

We make small talk, but when I notice the clock reads seven-forty five, I get up and try to call my mother. I get no answer.

"Is something wrong?" Edward asks from the doorway of what has been deemed "my room".

"I can't get a hold of my parents, and it's not like them to be late for anything."

"Well perhaps they've taken a wrong turn or something," He offers as he walks further into my room.

"My mom knows Chicago like the back of her hand, Edward. Besides, she isn't above asking for directions."

I sit on the bed and try my father's cell phone. His rings until it goes to voicemail. I decide to leave one.

"Hey dad, I'm just calling to make sure you're not lost or anything. Please call me when you get this. Bye."

"I don't know what would keep both of them from their phones and make them so late." I feel the need to apologize for their tardiness. It's just so unlike my parents.

"It's fine, Bella, really. We'll wait a bit longer for dinner. I'm sure they're on their way."

The doorbell rings then.

"See, I told you. Now, c'mon." Edward extends his hand to me.

"Actually, would you mind if I just collected myself for a minute? I know it's terribly rude of me to not greet them and ask you to, but I just need to regroup." I'm rambling. I'm nervous.

"It's fine, and it's not rude. I'll come get you once they've settled in."

I nod and watch him exit the room.

I go over what I'm going to say to them but stop after the first couple of trial runs. I don't want it to sound rehearsed. I need them to understand how real this is.

I stand from the bed and my door opens.

Edward comes in and quickly shuts the door.

"Hi, I was just coming out," I greet him.

I tilt my head because Edward's face is pale. _He_ looks nervous.

"I don't think that's a very good idea, Bella. You should stay here."

"Why? Is something wrong? Are my parents okay?" I ask, starting to panic. He's scaring me.

He nods. "They're fine."

I wait for him to continue because you can tell there's something else.

"Bella, they didn't come alone."

I don't understand. Who did they br-

"Oh my God." The words ride the gust of air that's just left my lungs.

I sit back down. I can't breathe.

"Calm down, Bella. Take deep breaths."

I hear the words he's saying but I can't make myself comply. How could they do this to me?

"Wh-wh-why w-w-w-ould..."

"I don't know Bella, but you need to focus on this right now. Deep breaths," Edward is still trying to calm me down. I see his face and his hands are on mine.

I'm finally able to breathe somewhat normally after a few minutes of deep breathing.

I open my eyes and I see concern in Edward's.

"Why did they bring Demetri? Do they have any idea what they've done? He's going to kill me, Edward." I state it, it's a fact.

"No, he won't. No one is going to let him do anything to you again, especially me. He will never hurt you again, Bella."

I know he wants to mean it. I want him to mean it.

"You're wrong, Edward. He will hurt me again, only the next time there won't be any day after. The next time Demetri beats me, I'll die," I whisper.

Perhaps I should see it as a favor. One last beating and then I'm done.

* * *

So there ya have it. Don't kill me. But let me know if want to. lol.

I've already started the next chapter & God willing, it'll be up soon.

=)

y'all are awesome & i srsly mean that!

**_Twitter me: hayboo05_**

-rach.


	10. Quiet Strength

Well...sorry seems kind of lacking...but that's what i am. i hate that it's taken me so long!

kellyprovence - beta!

Bbebar - pre-reader.

**Warning**:_ For How Long deals with physical & emotional abuse. If these things offend you or are hard for you to handle then please don't read. It won't be anything too graphic but the abuse is still there._

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Twilight or it's characters. I do own this though.

* * *

**For How Long - Quiet Strength**

_"strength isn't always measured my muscle...sometimes it's heart that makes you the strong"_

"He's not going to kill you. I'm not going to let him come near you." Edward says this with determination and perhaps he's telling himself more than me.

I look at him and I see the seriousness in his eyes. He wants to protect me and part of me thinks he can.

"I just don't know why they would bring him when I specifically said not to," I say quietly.

"Do you want to speak to your parents? I'm sure you can still tell them what you need to tell them."

I shake my head. I can't tell them what D's done to me with him here. It's too much. I wasn't prepared for this. I need to decide what to do though, because my mom will want answers and I'm not sure how truthful those will be with Demetri just outside the door.

"Bella, when they see you, they're going to know why you've left him. Your bruises are still very obvious."

"I just don't know how I'm going to do this with him here. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. It's all wrong!" I don't mean for my voice to rise, but I'm just so tired of all this. I want it be over and Demetri keeps finding ways of making sure that doesn't happen.

There's a knock on the door and both Edward and I look at it but make no move to open it.

Another knock and a voice. "Bella, sweetie, it's Mom. Can I come in?"

Edward's raised eye brow asks me for permission as well.

"I don't know what to say…" I whisper.

"This isn't going to be easy or perfect, Bella. It's just going to have to happen. I'll stay with you if you want me to."

I do want him to and I tell him so.

He walks over to the door and pauses for a few seconds. I take a deep breath and stand to face the door.

"Mrs. Dwyer, come in please."

"Why is Bella in here? She should be in the living room greeting her hus-" Her words cut off the second she sees me. My face. My bruises. My life.

She doesn't move, speak or even breathe. She looks sad, angry, confused and irritated.

My eyes shift to look at Edward and that breaks the trance my mother was in.

"What happened to you? Who…I don't…how long…"

I'm just about to open my mouth and speak when she turns to face Edward, who had settled against the bedroom door.

"Did you do this my daughter?" She asks so calmly you would have thought she asked for the time.

I can't help the gasp that escapes.

"No, Mother, Edward would never hurt me."

Edward looks as if someone's punched _him_ but stays where he is.

"Then why is your face like that? Why won't he let you come out to where we are?" She asks, walking toward me.

"Mom, Edward had nothing to do with the bruises, I promise. He's only been wonderful and helpful to me."

"Then explain, Isabella, because I'm at a loss here."

I want to just dive right in, but I can't forget who's in the living room.

"Why did you bring Demetri when I asked you not to tell him anything about this?" I ask quietly.

Mom scoffs as if it should be obvious.

"He's your husband, Isabella. He deserves to know where you are and what you've been doing while ignoring his phone calls for days."

"He did this. He's the reason I have the bruises on my face, chest, sides, back. Now, tell me again what _he_ deserves, Mother."

I didn't mean for it to come out like that, but I hate when my mom defends him. I know that she's had no real reason not to. I just want her to be on my side. Defend me.

There's silence. A long heavy silence that seems to tighten its grasp on me with every second that passes. I look to Edward. His hands are in his pockets and he's looking back at me. His eyes tell me I'm strong and he's proud of me.

Finally my mom speaks. "Well, people get upset sometimes, Bella. I'm sure he's very sorry and that he won't do it again."

Her words are slow and broken. She doesn't believe the words any more than I do and yet she's going to stand behind them.

"He's done it again and again. Since before we were married, Mom."

She shakes her head and brings her hand to her mouth.

"He beat me so badly this last time that I could barely open my eyes. Edward came over to see if I was alright because I had been avoiding his calls. He found me covered in the cuts and bruises. He insisted that I leave with him right away."

Mom turns to look at Edward now and he starts walking over to us. He comes to stand next to me.

"I gave up quite the fight, but in the end, he was right; I needed to stop letting D hurt me."

"Are you having an affair?"

I blink and let my mouth fall open. That's what she asks me after what I just told her?

"Mrs. Dwyer, I promise you that there are no inappropriate things going on between your daughter and I. There are more important matters to focus on."

"I just don't understand what happened to make him like this. I thought I raised you to be a good wife."

"I am a good wife. I do as I'm asked and I never embarrass him, but that doesn't matter to him! He's sick, Mom. You don't beat someone you love. Even if I was the worst wife in the history of wives that does not give him the right to beat me."

She doesn't say anything. She just stares at me.

"Bella, marriage is about give and take. Perhaps you took more than you gave? No one just beats their spouse for no good reason. Surely you can fix this."

"Mrs. Dwyer, with all due respect, I don't think you should be blaming this on Bella. She's done nothing to warrant physical violence and if I may, ma'am, I can't believe that you're insinuating that there's something that she can do to fix it. Demetri is the one who has the problem…he's the one who needs fixed."

"Edward, you'll excuse me if I don't take what you say to heart. It's obvious your feelings for my daughter go beyond those of a platonic nature. You have something to gain from this mess."

"Stop it! Don't make this out to be something we're making up for the sake of being together! Do I care about Edward? Absolutely, but I assure you that is not about an affair or anything. My husband beats me, Mother, and I'm trying to deal with that and get past it, but I need you and Dad to be there to help me. I also need Edward and his family. Can you understand that?"

My mom takes a deep breath.

"What I understand is that I need some time to process all of this. I also need to talk to your father. I'll get Demetri out of here, but I will not persecute him without knowing his side of the story, Bella."

Panic rushes through me.

"You can't tell him I told you yet. Not until I know what side you're on. I can't believe I even have to say that. I'm your daughter, damn it!"

"Yes, and as my daughter you should know how I process things. You will speak with Demetri soon and your father will call you later. Good night, Bella."

I watch as she turns and leaves the room.

My response is a whisper.

"Good bye, Renee."

* * *

i know it was short but i really wanted this chapter to be on it's own. i'm 600 words into 11.

i really can't thank you guys enough.

**twitter me: hayboo05**

_-rach._


	11. Always

_thanks so much to everyone still reading this. =)_

_**kellyprovence** - thank you for your beta'ing skills._

_**Warning**:__ For How Long deals with physical & emotional abuse. If these things offend you or are hard for you to handle then please don't read. It won't be anything too graphic but the abuse is still there._

_**Disclaimer**: SM owns Twilight. I own this story. _

* * *

**For How Long - Always**

_"no matter where I am, what I'm doing, or who I'm with...I will love you, always."_

I don't come out of my room for the rest of night. I say good-bye to the Cullen's through the door and I feel awful for being so rude, but I'm just so upset.

Demetri was right. My family was never going to support me in this. Mom as much as said so. I need to talk to my brothers. Surely they'll be on my side and maybe they can work on mom and dad.

I wonder if my dad will be as hard to convince as my mother…

I'm just crawling into bed when there's a knock.

"Come in."

"I just wanted to say good night."

I give Edward a small smile and ask him to come in.

"Thank you for staying with me earlier. I'm sorry for what my mom said." My apology seems weak and I'm reminded that maybe everything I do will come off as weak.

He shakes his head and takes my hand in his.

"Bella, I don't want you to apologize for a single thing your mother does from here on out. Besides, there's nowhere I'd rather be then next to you. Helping you get through this."

I'm not sure what I did to deserve Edward's friendship. I'm not even sure I _have_ earned it yet. So far, it's been a lot of me taking and him giving. I want to be in a position to give him something other than stress and anxiety.

It's not his problem. _I'm_ not his problem and yet he takes everything I'm carrying and never has an ill word to say about it.

One day, I'll do whatever I can to show Edward how much his support and concern mean to me.

I go to sleep with so much on mind that it's a wonder I sleep at all.

-xx-

"Hey, I'm glad I got to see you before I left," Edward greets me as I walk into the kitchen. I glance at the clock and see it's nearly nine.

"Sorry, I just couldn't drag myself out of bed."

He gives me a small smile and takes a drink from his coffee cup.

"Back to work?" I ask, leaning against the counter.

"Yes, I'll be there all day I'm afraid. I'll try to wrap it up around six though, okay?"

I nod. "Edward, you don't need to live your life around me, I'll be fine."

The words are true, but if I'm being honest, I want him here all the time. I feel safe with him and I enjoy his company immensely. I know I can't ask that of him though. He's already done so much for me.

"I would be a horrible host if I left you to fend for yourself all day and I won't do it often, I promise."

His words brought a question to the front of my mind.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"How long can I stay here?"

He gets up from the table and makes his way over to me.

"You're welcome here for as long as _you_ want to stay."

"I don't want to become an imposition though. You have your own life and things to do."

"Bella, I want you here. Call me selfish but I like your company, and I want to make sure I can keep my promises. That being said, I also don't want you to feel as if you have no other option. If you feel like you need to be on your own, then I'll help you do that."

I didn't know how long I wanted to stay at Edward's. A realistic timeline needed to be decided upon though. I knew us living together would work for now, but if we were ever going to pursue a real relationship, we would need our space. Plus, who knows what Demetri would do, especially now that he knows I'm staying here.

"You've done so much for me," I say quietly.

"This may sound strange and I hope it's not too much, but you mean a lot to me Bella."

I can't help the smile that crosses my face. It's not like I don't have people who care about me, but it's nice to hear it. I so rarely do.

"_You_ mean a lot to me, Edward." I look up to meet his eyes. I want him to know I'm sincere, that I mean it with everything.

He gives me his own smile and kisses my forehead.

I can't catch the sigh that escapes. All the bad things go away when it's just him and I. I know it's too soon to be thinking like that, but I can't help it. He's good to me, for me. I have a long way to go, I know that, but maybe it won't seem so long with him beside me.

-xx-

Jasper calls first. I invite him over because he deserves to be told in person. On the phone he sounds calm and neutral. Honestly, I didn't think he'd want to see me, but he said he'd be right over. I'm taking that as a good sign.

The bruises are pretty faded now and I'm glad. Regardless of what Jasper thinks or how he'll react, I don't want him to see me covered in bruises. They're my burdens to bear.

When they call to see if Jasper is allowed to come up, I'm nervous. I'm not sure why exactly. He's my brother and one of my best friends. He wouldn't let me do this by myself.

I open the door when he knocks and we just stand there. He won't meet my eyes and he's playing with his keys. He's nervous, too.

I step to the side and he enters. He takes a seat on the couch and I take the chair. This is probably the most silent we've been our whole lives.

He survey's the living room while I fiddle with the end of my shirt. The silence is almost overwhelming. I hate this.

Finally, after what seems like forever, Jasper speaks.

"This is a nice place."

I notice he still won't look at me. I nod anyway.

"Yes, it is."

Again, we're in silence. It's like the elephant in the room just keeps moving from one corner to another but won't come close enough to address.

Jasper lets out a heavy sigh and starts, "Listen, Bella, I don't know what to say or what you need me to do. I don't think any brother wants to hear about their little sister getting abused by someone that vowed to take care of her."

He looks to me then and since I have no idea what to say either, I just nod and look away. I owe him an explanation, or maybe I don't. Hell, I don't even know if he wants one, but until he makes that clear, I'm not going to offer up any details. Who really wants to hear about that, anyway?

"Dad told me how mom reacted and it pisses me off. You're her daughter for God's sake. She should be here comforting you or doing that girl bonding thing. I just…I'm sorry, B. I can't change how Mom's acting, but I'll be here for you. Always, ok?"

I'm fighting tears because out of the three family members that know about this, Jasper is the only one that has told me that. He's on my side, always. I stand up and he meets me half way with a huge hug that only your brother can give you.

"I love you, sis."

I stop fighting the tears.

"I love you, Jasper."

It comes out as a whisper, but a gentle squeeze tells me he heard what I said just fine.

-xx-

"So what are you going to do? Where ya staying?"

I walk over to the kitchen table with the sandwich's I fixed for Jasper and I.

"Well, Edward is going to let me stay here until I'm ready to be on my own. Carlisle and Esme have been wonderful with everything and they've recommended a lawyer for the divorce."

Jasper nods his head but doesn't comment. The word divorce is bitter on my tongue. I didn't think I'd ever be in the position where that would be the only option I had.

"Edward is treating you ok?"

I smile at Jasper's concern.

"He's great and really supportive. He's definitely the reason I had the courage to finally leave."

Jasper shakes his head, "No, Bella, you had the courage, you just needed to be reminded that you did."

"Well, anyway, he's been really amazing through this whole thing. I'm lucky to have him and his family."

"I'm sorry you don't have that support from our family."

"Jasper, I have you and Emmett. That's plenty of support."

"Dad is on your side, ya know. He's just trying to keep Mom from going all crazy on you. He wants you to know he's there for you, too."

I want to believe that, but he hasn't said anything like that to me and passing the message through Jasper isn't good enough. There are ways of getting around Mom.

"I'm going to call Emmett tomorrow; have you spoken to him?"

Jasper leans back in the chair and shakes his head.

"No, but I know Dad called him last night after he spoke to me."

"I hope he's with me on this," I say with a nervous smile.

"Bells, he's your brother, he'll definitely be there for you. Honestly, he'll probably want to beat the shit out of Demetri, so it's a good thing he's in Tennessee."

"Yeah, I don't want him getting into trouble for me."

I didn't even think about anyone wanting to hurt Demetri because of this. It's not that I don't think he deserves it, because he certainly does, but he's not worth the trouble that would bring. Demetri is worth very little.

"We'd do it, Bells. That's what big brothers are for."

* * *

_short chapters from here on out. but hopefully that means i'll get them out faster._

_i fail...i know. but i really appreciate everyone whose stickin with me on this._

_3_

_-rach._

_twitter- hayboo05_


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